Can You Protect Your Family Without Being Dangerous?

What if the safety of your children came down to one question—Would a predator view YOU as dangerous enough to protect them?

In this powerful episode of the Rise Up Kings podcast, Skylar Lewis, Coach Mondoe, and a panel of elite men, including a Green Beret, a Marine, and a former state trooper break down what it truly means to be a protector in today’s world. From childhood trauma to raising daughters in a broken culture, they expose why men must become spiritually and physically dangerous to shield their families.

This is not about toxic masculinity. This is about righteous strength.

▶ Discover why predators look for weak fathers
▶ Learn how to raise dangerous sons and safe daughters
▶ How to lead your home with spiritual authority
▶ Why every Christian man must be a warrior at heart

If you're a father, husband, or leader—this episode will shake you to your core.

Join our community now and join the movement to reclaim biblical masculinity.

#RiseUpKings #ChristianMen #Fatherhood 

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Transcript

00;00;01;13 - 00;00;20;16
Unknown
Violence is amoral in the same way that a pencil is a moral or a firearm is a moral, it depends on the way in which a moral thing is used. You have to learn to speak the language of violence. I believe the value that needs to be a part of every father or husband is a protector. Go take yourself somewhere where you get some actual feedback.

00;00;20;17 - 00;00;37;04
Unknown
Is that the only way that I protect my family? There's also another piece to this. You cannot be a dangerous man and show up and protect my family spiritually. Your life is now no longer about comfort. Your life is about pain, discipline, anger. Dangerous. That is what a dad is all about. All right. Welcome to the Coach's Corner.

00;00;37;04 - 00;00;56;02
Unknown
I'm your host, coach Mondo. Super excited about the Rise Up Kings podcast. We have an epic group in here. A lot of power in this room. We got the founder CEO of Rise Up Kings in the house, Skyler Lewis. We got a former Green Beret train, a special operators for the Kingdom of God. Now, coach Jeremy McWilliams, coach John, former marine state trooper and a man that's transforming lives and a former business owner coach.

00;00;56;02 - 00;01;12;17
Unknown
I call him the sniper coach. BJ in the house. We are going to rock your world. Stay tuned. Get ready. Get ready to take notes. And men, prepare for your life transformation. All right, so I came across this video that Ben Solo sent to me in a text thread. Really impacted me, and I want to have a conversation about it.

00;01;12;18 - 00;01;33;18
Unknown
Why should dads be dangerous? Watch this video of the most notorious conversation predators ever in the United States of America. And they asked him. They said, what made you target or what made you go after a specific target? You went after boys, girls, you know, black, white, Hispanic. It didn't really matter. He went after them all. There wasn't a specific demographic he focused on.

00;01;33;18 - 00;01;56;07
Unknown
And, the most amazing thing he said, he said, I looked at the father. And if the father wasn't a threat, I would go after that child that blew me away. He didn't look at the mother. He looked at the father. And if the father wasn't a threat. So I've started to be a threat. That's a good thing if you're a dad.

00;01;56;10 - 00;02;19;22
Unknown
Well, so that's a good as I mentioned, we got some problem in, in the room and I want to have a conversation around why dads could be dangerous. It reminds me of a moment living in Philadelphia. We were at the military base. My dads are 20 years in the army. Very dangerous. Man. And my dad's sitting on the couch, seven years old at this time.

00;02;19;24 - 00;02;41;28
Unknown
And there were there were these high fences. These fences were probably 14, 15ft high. And there was barbed wire wrapped around the top of these fences. You would think it was some kind of like, you know, prison camp. Right. And I'm outside just hanging out with my buddy Brian next door neighbor. And these kids are walking outside of the military base, and they throw two bricks over the fence, and it hits my car.

00;02;42;00 - 00;02;59;05
Unknown
And I run into the house, and my dad is sitting on the couch with no shirt on in a pair of shorts watching TV like this. And I'm like, dad, dad, these kids just threw bricks at the car. They hit the car and my dad immediately gets up out of his seat without hesitation, runs outside and looks. I sit there, right there, and the kids started running outside of the fence.

00;02;59;05 - 00;03;19;27
Unknown
Were inside the fence. My dad scaled the fence with no shirt on, lands on top of the barbed wire, hover over the fence, lands on both feet, chases the kids down. I can see it in the eyes. Distance. Picks them both up by the back of their shirts off the ground and carries them down the street about another hundred yards to the 7-Eleven, calls the cops, comes back home.

00;03;20;00 - 00;03;42;29
Unknown
And I saw my dad go on the fence again, and I saw him bleeding. And I saw the holes in, and he had this look of satisfaction on his face. He gave me a little smile, like I got. You safe? I didn't say a word. He just looked at me and he came back in the house and he said, no.

00;03;43;01 - 00;04;06;01
Unknown
I never forget that because I felt protected as a son. I knew there's nothing that my dad won't do. He'll risk himself to protect me. And I think that impacted me in such a way that there's nothing I won't do for my kids. And every time I work out, I'm thinking, what if I need to pick up a car to save one of my kids?

00;04;06;01 - 00;04;24;00
Unknown
What if I need to carry my wife a mile? Can I do it every time I train and I don't want to do that next rip. That's what's in the back of my mind so I can show up and be dangerous to protect the people that love. And I know we got some dangerous men in this room. I'm curious to know what your thoughts are about that.

00;04;24;02 - 00;04;49;20
Unknown
Yeah. So for me, I think the idea of violence has been, like, confused in as a stereotype. Like in our society, the idea of violence has been confused. The you mentioned that there's this flipping of the script of a way to look at the idea of dangerous. Well, I feel the same way about the idea of violence.

00;04;49;23 - 00;05;11;25
Unknown
Like violence is a moral like in the same way that a pencil is a moral or a firearm is a moral. It depends on the way in which the a moral thing is used. Like, I can use a pencil to write a poem. I can use a pencil to stab Coach John in the in the arm. I can do something good with it.

00;05;11;25 - 00;05;42;08
Unknown
I can do something bad with it. In the same way, violence is the exact same idea. If I can use violence to stop a crime, I can use violence to hurt something innocent. And so that's one thing that comes to mind. And the other is, like, mean. That story about your dad is so incredibly powerful. Like the way you see this powerhouse of a man like scale offense and just take it, like, in stride, just take the wounds that come along with, with him.

00;05;42;11 - 00;05;59;11
Unknown
He knew exactly what he's. I'm going to catch those boys. He had clarity, right? Like he knew exactly what he was going to go do. And getting caught up by barbed wire, like there just happened to be a fence in the way. There just happened to be some barbed wire in the way. But what he was going to do was catch those boys and make them, like, hold them accountable.

00;05;59;13 - 00;06;40;18
Unknown
And, to the to the average man, listening to this podcast and watching you tell that story and seeing those traps pop out of your shirt like that, like, bro, if if you just decide to jump off the couch today and you hit the gym next week, you're not going to look like Mondo. But what you can do is start building the callus, start building the muscle, and start yourself on a trajectory where the the prices that we pay, the obstacles that we overcome are just like, it's just part of what comes when you get clear and so on.

00;06;40;18 - 00;07;09;16
Unknown
Something you decide you want to get fit, broken. It's going to hurt. Like you're going to be sore and you may get some injuries. And the early mornings they come early and it's like not not getting these things confused. Like like putting things back into the correct perspective, putting putting the idea of being dangerous in perspective, putting violence in perspective, putting this idea of like where I want to go and from where I am.

00;07;09;16 - 00;07;37;29
Unknown
Putting these things in perspective, in my view, is a is a huge deal, or else it ends up seeing like this monumental task that why even bother undertaking it? No, no, you can like. No you listening to this thing, you, you watching this video? You absolutely can be the kind of man like Mondo's dad and have the kind of effect that Mondo's dad had on him.

00;07;38;02 - 00;07;56;16
Unknown
But you can have that kind of effect on people watching your life, on your children, on those that you lead. You absolutely can. And you don't need to be a 20 year veteran or a Green Beret or a police officer, or a an NFL athlete or a successful business owner, or you don't need to be all of these things, man.

00;07;56;16 - 00;08;21;18
Unknown
If you get you don't need to already be that. If you get clear on what it is you want out of this life, you get clear on who it is that you want to become. There's absolutely a path to get there from where you are now. And it starts with a step, and we can start moving any time we want on that trajectory, recognizing it's going to be a journey.

00;08;21;18 - 00;08;43;25
Unknown
But we can start moving right now from your couch, from your couch, from your overweight niece. Right now, from your apathy right now, you can start on a trajectory towards being an incredibly powerful man. And you know what it's going to take? It's going to take actually waking up. It's going to take someone holding you accountable to being at the gym.

00;08;43;27 - 00;09;03;26
Unknown
It's going to take going and learning the skills necessary to be successful, to be dangerous, to enact violence. Violence is a language you have to learn to speak the language of violence. It's going to take going to jujitsu class. It's going to take it's going to take having that that Muay Thai class. And you know what? It's what what it's going to involve.

00;09;03;26 - 00;09;30;26
Unknown
It's going to involve sore joints and getting strangled, pushing the weights, being out of breath, all of those things. And then, talking about reorienting, reorienting yourself to the idea of violence, to the idea of dangerous and to the idea of pain that your life is now no longer about comfort. Your life is about pain. I think, man, it sounds like a lot of work.

00;09;30;28 - 00;09;52;20
Unknown
Yeah, right. That sounds like. It sounds like a lot of work. A lot of, dedication. I think what's critical is, is the. Why right? Because that's the why becomes so important. That's what. That's what's coming up for me is, Right. There's a saying private preparation creates public success. Right. So things we do in private end up right, creating the results that we want in our lives and in the public.

00;09;52;20 - 00;10;09;04
Unknown
And yeah, I think I think what's what's interesting is why men maybe don't put in that level is they don't see the need. Right, like you're kind of talking about or they're like, well, why would I go to jujitsu? Why would I why would I practice weaponizing my body? Like, what are the chances of, somebody actually attacking my family, right?

00;10;09;04 - 00;10;26;24
Unknown
Or being able to protect them or having the need to be able to protect them? It depends on someone's value system. So if someone's value system is if protection is high, what will. The challenge is most men don't operate by a value system in general. That is kind of they just kind of are going right. They're just moving and taking action.

00;10;26;24 - 00;10;50;17
Unknown
And just showing up. However, men that decide to live by a set of values, become more potent and that I believe the value that needs to be a part of every father or husband is a protector, right? Is that protectors of protection? Is that is a high enough value for you. And that important? You'll assess yourself and you'll be like and you'll ask me a protector.

00;10;50;20 - 00;11;11;19
Unknown
Do I have what it takes to be able to protect my family? I think it starts with that. Why is checking in, like, do I even. Am I equipped to protect my family? And if not, what do I need to do to go have that incredible preparation that's necessary? And I think, why for me, why is, I want my wife and my kids to feel safe to your story.

00;11;11;19 - 00;11;31;08
Unknown
Like that's a beautiful story motto. I want my wife to feel safe, but a lot of wives don't know if their husbands could protect them. They therefore do not feel safe. Safety is one of the most important things for a woman. Right, kids maybe don't pay as much attention, right? Unless there's some danger. Then they're like, oh wow, I need to feel safe.

00;11;31;08 - 00;12;08;24
Unknown
But women, man, that's that's intrinsically built in the women is they have to they they it's a core need is safety, right. Not only, financial security and safety, but man physical protection. And so I think for me, when I first got married, I thought I was, I thought I was tough, and at the really, really, when it came down to it, I knew if, if anything, like if there was, if there was a situation, I wasn't, I was I wasn't confident that I was competent to be able to handle a physical, intense confrontation of violence.

00;12;08;27 - 00;12;28;20
Unknown
Right. So that's why, like, that's why I enjoy boxing and learning how to protect myself. Because, yeah, I like growing up. Dude, I was I was messed with. I was bullied at different times. People that are watching this or listening to this, they may they may have a, they may have a, aversion to violence. But, man, we got to break that aversion.

00;12;28;20 - 00;12;48;01
Unknown
We have to break that aversion. You cannot have an aversion to violence if you're a father. And if you're a husband, you have to be able to find the language, to speak the language. Yeah. Because. Right. We all have fight, fight or freeze. So what is yours? And when you're are confronted with physical confrontation, do you lean in like mom does?

00;12;48;01 - 00;13;08;22
Unknown
Dad, without a thought, right. He goes into fight or do you freeze or in now? But you have to go get some actual feedback from that. Not what you think you'll do, not what you think you'll do. Because if you ask the average man in America, they'll say something to the tune of and correct me if I'm saying something that you find is off here.

00;13;08;22 - 00;13;30;08
Unknown
But like, dude, if I just get mad enough, if I got mad, there's no way. And there's this is like blowing up in this posturing, like, guerrilla style beating the chest that happens, this bravado that comes up. If I just get mad at him. There's no way, bro. Take yourself to your local jiu jitsu gym and watch 145 pound accountant who works behind a desk bowl you up like it literally will happen.

00;13;30;09 - 00;13;58;20
Unknown
It happens to me. It happens to me pretty much every morning of the calendar week. I go to class and there is a 150. Now I'm about 200 pounds and I'm pretty strong. I get balled up by like 150 pound CFO and he does whatever he wants to me. I can't stop it. It's the most bananas thing. And so if you're out there thinking to yourself, like, you know, if I just get if I just got mad enough, if I get big enough, there is no way, bro.

00;13;58;22 - 00;14;14;06
Unknown
Okay. Or would you be open to some feedback? Yeah. Go take yourself somewhere where you get some actual feedback and I'd love to comment on that. So I, I agree with you. I know what you're I've been there. I've been watered up by the, the I'm most likely to be voted out of a coffee shop or whatever.

00;14;14;06 - 00;14;36;16
Unknown
I have been watered up. I've been watered down. I consider that, yes. Yeah, that's what that's actually a little hook to be right. But mad your leader. Yeah. My, I actually my first experience in jujitsu. I just done a bodybuilding competition. I'm like a 20 something year old marine. I roll in in the best shape of my life, and I roll into this place, and I just get wadded up by 155 pound guy.

00;14;36;16 - 00;14;56;19
Unknown
That's just a normal looking guy. And I was instantly hooked. Right? I'm like, I don't know what he's doing, but I need to know it. All right. So no, I agree with you, but I think and this is on my hard to share too is like the guy in the video. You don't have to be jacked because in my experience, the most dangerous man I've met in my experience are not jacked guys.

00;14;56;21 - 00;15;14;25
Unknown
But they are. They are. They are very dangerous men. And it comes to their their mindset. So you can develop a danger and a mindset. And I would see that as a police officer all the time, like when I walk into a scenario where I have 3 or 4 suspects, I can only really focus on one of them entirely.

00;15;14;25 - 00;15;35;13
Unknown
I have to put 51% attention on one of them, and I'm looking at eyes. I'm looking at the way they're looking at me, the way they're standing. And there's been lots of scenarios where there are big guys around that. I'm dismissing a little bit to someone else because I'm like, this guy's a shot caller. He's not the biggest guy in the area, but this guy's a problem because the way he's looking at me, right?

00;15;35;14 - 00;15;53;11
Unknown
Because he's determined he has violence of action in his heart. Right. And you can develop you can develop that through jujitsu. And that's though. But you can also develop it lots of other ways. If you decide to write a book and you write a book in a way where you're like, I'm just going to work on this for like seven years, we're not going to you're not going to develop that resolve.

00;15;53;13 - 00;16;12;20
Unknown
But if you're like, I'm going to write this book in Q1, you know, with everything else going on, I'm going to write this thing in this time that develops that type of mental resolve and that just all force and attitude. And while I agree with you. Yeah, like if you've got some skills, your anger isn't going to help you.

00;16;12;20 - 00;16;35;18
Unknown
It actually hurt you. Right? But all things being equal, also, two guys, business guys walking on the planet don't know nothing, right? Right. The guy who's full send. I got my money on that guy. Violence even. Yeah. The violence of action. The guy who's never, never touched a weight but done mentally hard things. The guys who's doing ice baths, ice baths don't make you jacked, but they build this thing, right?

00;16;35;20 - 00;16;56;21
Unknown
They build this. They build that resolve. So living in Philly, living in some other places, man, I've been in some hoods, man. And I can smell a fight right before it comes. I mean, I can sense it in me. I'm like, man, something about to go down and nine times out of ten, I'm right. And to your point is to do the silent.

00;16;56;23 - 00;17;17;24
Unknown
The dude is looking at you with this intense look. Yeah. The brother that hasn't said anything, right, that you got to watch out for. Oh, yeah, that would be me. So my dad was not the dad that would get off the couch and jump over the fence and go take care of business. My dad was more like, Skyler's at the passive dad.

00;17;17;27 - 00;17;23;11
Unknown
And so most of my.

00;17;23;14 - 00;17;43;01
Unknown
My adulthood was being a passive, passive dad. And then something snapped inside of me before I came to Roger Kings. And I started sitting in the restaurants where my back was against the all the walls. I was looking toward the door and if something just happened, like snapped inside me, like, hey, you got to. You got to learn how to protect your family some way, somehow.

00;17;43;06 - 00;18;03;15
Unknown
What if somebody came in the doors? And so this, like, innate feeling came upon me like, hey, it's time to become violent. It's time to become dangerous. Like, protect your dad and protect you. Your dad was out doing other things. You got to protect your family. And so I started sitting to where I could see who was coming in and out of the doors.

00;18;03;17 - 00;18;17;23
Unknown
I would tell my boys, like, hey, I'll take you to the restroom and I'll wait for them. And then they're like, when they become young, you know? 1012 dad, I don't need you to take me to the restroom anymore, all right? This is what I want you to do. If you go to the restroom, somebody that you don't know touches you.

00;18;18;00 - 00;18;39;15
Unknown
You yell, you scream. I say, you throw this while I fit. I said, and I'll come running and I'll rip this dude's throat out like in my heart. Like I knew, right? I knew nobody would f with my family at all. And I would rip this dude's throw it out. They look at me like, really? I'm like, yeah, you guys mean the world to me?

00;18;39;15 - 00;19;05;27
Unknown
And I would rip another man's throat out if they would have touched you. I didn't get this from my dad. I wasn't law enforcement. I wasn't military. I do believe that every man has this kind of. They have it in them. This sense of like, I need to do that. And I believe that they just push it down because, well, that's not me.

00;19;05;29 - 00;19;31;04
Unknown
I'm not a violent man. I don't I don't do violent things. I don't do dangerous things. And I would almost tell these men like, yeah, you are like, let that we're warriors. God created us to go and be warriors. Like, let that fire kind of burn up a little bit. I love it and think about it. Beautiful. So if you're watching this and you're thinking, well, man, I'm not really a violent dude, I'm that accountant, right?

00;19;31;04 - 00;19;44;09
Unknown
Like, I don't do jujitsu. I don't know how to box. I but but I will protect my family. I'll give my life for my family, man. Like, what does God even have to say about this in terms of me being a dangerous man? Well, I want to read some scripture to you here in Nehemiah chapter four, verse 14.

00;19;44;12 - 00;20;11;01
Unknown
And just to set the frame for what's happening here, the walls of Jerusalem have been broken down. And Nehemiah feels this calling to go and rebuild the wall. And he sets out on this mission to rebuild the wall that protects the city, which symbolizes the Jewish people. And as he's building here, here's what it says Nehemiah chapter four, verse 14.

00;20;11;01 - 00;20;43;03
Unknown
And I looked in a rose and said to the nobles, into the officials and to the rest of the people, do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who was great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes. Right? You got to be dangerous. So this is a clear call for men to take responsibility for defending their families, defending what God has called you to build.

00;20;43;05 - 00;20;58;04
Unknown
And to do that, you have to be dangerous. But it gets better. I want to read this in Nehemiah 417, but there's a practicality here that I want to. I want to highlight in Nehemiah 417, just three verses later, it says, those who were building on the wall, you're watching these guys called you to build something. What is it?

00;20;58;04 - 00;21;23;08
Unknown
Your business, your ministry, your wife, your kids? What are you building right now? Because every man has a call to build something. Those who are building on the wall, each with one hand doing the work and with the other holding a weapon. So we're talking about the practicality of the violence here from a physical perspective. But there's a another question that's being begged right now.

00;21;23;08 - 00;21;43;26
Unknown
And that is is that the only way that I protect my family is the physicality? Yes, that is a very important critical component here. But there's also another piece to this. And I'd be a dangerous man to protect my wife's emotions. Can I be a dangerous man and show up and protect my family spiritually and hold the weapon of a sword?

00;21;43;28 - 00;22;02;23
Unknown
I don't see a Bible near me, but the the Bible is called the sword of the spirit. It's a weapon. Are you protecting your family spiritually? Are you protecting them emotionally? Are you showing up after building your business and getting down as goes, Jeremy says, and playing Legos on the kid with your floor, playing Legos on the floor with your kids.

00;22;02;25 - 00;22;25;29
Unknown
Like, can you show up and protect the people that you love from that perspective, as you build with one hand? And you have a weapon in the other. So what does that look like to be a dangerous man? Emotionally, spiritually, relationally? What's that look like to show up and be an engaged father?

00;22;26;01 - 00;22;46;03
Unknown
An engaged husband? What's that look like? I think for me, it's, it's taking the time to make that a priority. So. Meaning, like, I need to go look at my kids, iPad and take the time to grab his iPad, see what he's looking at, and take the time to really be intentional, to make sure I'm protecting his heart.

00;22;46;07 - 00;23;10;16
Unknown
His eyes like, what's what he's seeing, right? There's a lot of, where we have a lot of passive Christians who don't take the time to to assess what our kids are watching on Netflix or on screens. Right. Or even to to to pay attention to what we're watching, what our wives are watching now. And I had a conversation with Jessica years ago, and I said, hey, babe, I love you.

00;23;10;18 - 00;23;36;09
Unknown
And I think that what we're watching isn't, wholesome, right? It just shows she was enjoying. But there was some unwholesome mass in it. And I'm like, man, my role is to protect my wife's eyes and her heart. Like, that's part of my role, is to make sure that I'm protecting her so I can I can right bring bring that conversation and confront that conversation to support my wife's heart.

00;23;36;11 - 00;23;59;16
Unknown
Right. So I'm really diligent with her heart. I want to make sure that that as my role as provider and protector, that I'm, being present and being diligent. I was, I was at this, I went to to a New Orleans. What's the street in, New Orleans? Bourbon street. Bourbon street? Yep. So I went there with, Jessica and, and my, son or my sons, and we were out a little.

00;23;59;20 - 00;24;11;16
Unknown
We're doing a camping trip where I'm doing a road trip, actually. So we had our RV out there. We're like, let's go check out Bourbon Street. Middle of the day. And so we get in this Uber, the guy takes us, he stops right at the corner and he looks he looks back at us and he goes, you guys are we guys are going to Bourbon Street.

00;24;11;16 - 00;24;42;27
Unknown
And we're like, yeah. Pause for a moment. Let me set up. All right. Are you guys have a great day. Be be diligent, be diligent. I'm like diligent. Wow. Right. Be diligent. All right, all right, all right. What are we walking into here? Oh, super driver villages. Right. It was beautiful because it. Right that because of that, I paid even more attention to my surroundings and what was happening and making sure I lived a diligent life.

00;24;42;27 - 00;25;07;08
Unknown
So I think as fathers, we can be called to live diligent lives when it comes to protecting, our family's hearts, their minds, and their physical bodies. Also, totally like this idea. You said it like the role of a father and husband is provider. Protector. Okay, but sometimes, like with violence and like with the idea of dangerous, we get this like this, this narrow view of what it means to be provider, protector.

00;25;07;15 - 00;25;31;25
Unknown
And we think that provider means we put money in bank account, and protector means, we prevent our wife from getting mugged outside of the safe way. But. But what if it meant more than that? What if it meant that we provide did not just money for the bank account, but the ingredients by which our wife is able to build a home to make our house into a home.

00;25;31;27 - 00;25;55;22
Unknown
What if we were to provide the ingredients for a remarkable culture that leaves a legacy in that that where our our kids, in our our wife, in our our family at large like leaks out culture and is mistaken for Jesus everywhere that we go as a family. What if we protected not just in the preventing the mugging outside of a safe way late at night?

00;25;55;26 - 00;26;32;01
Unknown
But what if we protected the hearts of our children and the heart of our wife and and I? For me, as I look at this like the the most dangerous threat to my wife's heart is me. Like it's the words I say, the look I give, the attention that I provide. And so if I'm actually looking for threats, if if I say I'm protector, if I'm looking for threats to my wife's heart, it's right here.

00;26;32;04 - 00;26;48;29
Unknown
It's right. It's my own mouth in what I say to her. So I can I can create a sense of hopelessness in my wife by the way in which I speak to her. I can also create a sense of hope, fullness in my wife, by the way in which I speak to her. I can create with my words.

00;26;49;05 - 00;27;07;23
Unknown
And I think this idea of provider protector, needs more perspective. And as one of the reasons I love the fellows in this room is because, like, there's so many different perspectives and I love this place in general. There's so many different perspectives, and you're constantly having perspective challenged here. And this is one of my favorite ones. Provider protector.

00;27;07;25 - 00;27;27;05
Unknown
On that note, before you go. Yeah. My dad so he he was he did a fantastic job at that taking the time to protect my heart. I remember this one time we were, he just set amazing boundaries is what I had. I got an a smoking weed a little bit. I mean, I probably. Yeah. Anyway, a small amount.

00;27;27;05 - 00;27;51;16
Unknown
And so I ended up crashing the Geo Metro car that my dad was, I let me drive it just because I was tired, not because I was smoking or anything like that. I was probably 16. And so, my, so my dad ended up saying, hey, if I ever catch you smoking or find out that you've ever smoked, you'll never, you'll never be able to drive again until you're 18.

00;27;51;18 - 00;28;12;16
Unknown
Like hard boundary really protected me in a big way. So he. Yeah. So anyway, so that's it was just a cool example of of a father, like taking a hard stance on something, whether it be what kids watch, what we were watching, what I was allowed to do this a beautiful example. Yeah. As I say, with what Jeremy was saying, that that's so true.

00;28;12;16 - 00;28;32;23
Unknown
And it's important for us to be emulating, what power should look like, right, to a woman? Because, you know, our daughters are going to marry a version of us, you know, a younger cochere version with a stupid hat or something, right? Some of them is going to irritate us. Right. Okay. Yeah. And, so true. And, you know, in my experience, people are attracted to power, right?

00;28;32;23 - 00;28;53;19
Unknown
So like, a, a mature woman is attracted to a to a powerful man who's in control. And that guy is going to use that power to, to protect her. And an immature woman is going to be attracted to or can be attracted to the man who's powerful but out of control, the guy in the motorcycle with, you know, all the things that are irresponsible, right?

00;28;53;25 - 00;29;15;09
Unknown
The out of control power. And then that ties into what you're saying. I mean, even statistically speaking, the biggest physical threat to a woman is the man in the room. Not just emotional, but actually physical. And that's well-documented. And it's, you know, how do we break that cycle in our culture? And it's by showing up is that man that shows that I can be lying unless I'm just like, Jesus.

00;29;15;16 - 00;29;38;03
Unknown
I can be a powerful dude. However it is whether I'm jacked in the gym or jujitsu guy or or I just push hard at work and I do hard things, and, I'm a powerful guy, but I'm. I can control and I can love. That's Matthew five five. Like, if you look at Matthew 555, like, this idea of meek is a really is a funny idea because it's like the translation is kind of weird.

00;29;38;05 - 00;30;00;21
Unknown
Yeah. But it's effectively like this idea of like, the meek shall inherit the earth. Like, if you it's the idea of like a powerful warrior who has a great big sword and can unsheathe the sword and just get to work and just drop bodies. But instead chooses to sheath his sword. Jordan Peterson has an interesting perspective on this, too.

00;30;00;21 - 00;30;37;06
Unknown
Talking about like you, you can't. Weak isn't a virtue, right? But there's nothing virtuous about a rabbit, right? Like it's it's the lion that chooses not to bite your head off. Right. Then that's the future, you know, like a rabbit is never used as a as a insignia of virtue. And so like. No, the the so then there the the the presupposition is that one capable of extreme violence or, or cutting deeply with words or has the capacity for violence, then chooses to sheath their sword, that person back to your original point about dangerous.

00;30;37;13 - 00;31;05;22
Unknown
That person who's incredibly dangerous and can lay waste and chooses to sheath their sword. That person shall inherit. I love this, and I'm thinking about all of the dads right now that are watching this with children, civilly daughters? Yeah. If you don't know, I have seven of them. Seven beautiful girls that I love and I'll give my life for in a hot second.

00;31;05;24 - 00;31;29;29
Unknown
Jeremy and I, you have three girls. Because, John, you have one love video has zero boys and Skyler has zero. So just for a quick second, I want to talk to the dads with the girls. They got a young, young man who shows up at your doorstep. He wants to date your daughter. How do you propose to that man?

00;31;29;29 - 00;31;50;15
Unknown
Is that the old school? Hey, come on in, buddy. Set the bullet on the table. I clean that shotgun. How are you doing, young man? Is it the old school tactic, or is there a better way? Yeah. So what do you say to the dads out there with daughters? Yeah. So? So I get this one a lot, like, based on my past.

00;31;50;15 - 00;32;06;13
Unknown
Right. So I was a Green Beret for many years. Joined the Army right after 9/11. I went to the 82nd, then, went to first Special Forces Group and then later to 19 Special Forces Group. And and everyone kind of likes to joke, like, throw this joke around like, oh, man, three girls in the house, Well, when is it?

00;32;06;13 - 00;32;25;11
Unknown
When is dating age like high school time? Who's going to be cleaning? Who's going to leave your shotgun out on the counter and be cleaning that every time a boy comes over and I'm like, no, no, it is. It is quite literally the exact opposite of what I'm going to do. I don't want that. Like, that boy is going to understand that I'm a powerful man because I.

00;32;25;11 - 00;32;52;23
Unknown
I just am like. But that my intent is going to be that that young man can hear my voice, that he trusts me, that when I speak to him, he has ears to hear me. So I'm not only cleaning my shotgun, I'm going to be like effectively hugging that young man. I'm going to I'm going to work to bring him in, not push him away.

00;32;52;26 - 00;33;19;07
Unknown
So good. So yeah. And this idea of like this, if you look at it like an image, like there's a bringing in that like, this is what this is just mean. I like because I think about this, my oldest daughters 14. So we're coming up on that like high school, next year's high school for my oldest daughter. And so like through high school years, we have a rule in our house you can't date until you can drive just based on the definition of the word date, even though you can't date until you can drive.

00;33;19;09 - 00;33;41;25
Unknown
But when that time comes, like, I'm going to work to bring those young men in where they can hear my voice and that I have influence over them because they trust my words, they trust my opinion, they trust my point of view, because they found me to be powerful. They found me to be on purpose. And they found me to be willing to listen.

00;33;41;27 - 00;34;03;06
Unknown
And so that's the way I'm approaching that love. It. Yeah. That's good. On that note, right. Can a young boy determine if you're dangerous? Do they have the ability? Oh, I think they can smell it 100%. Yeah. It's a beauty. It's a beautiful thing. They know the dads. They they can push boundaries with. And they know the dads that will take a stand for their daughter.

00;34;03;07 - 00;34;20;01
Unknown
Yeah, and I did. You crossed a line, right? She was out too late. Like there's consequences. Like like you don't even have to say that they could smell. They could smell the dad that is willing to take a stand there. Yeah, I'd say even just, Well, first off, the premise is terrible, right? Because, like, a shotgun is pretty resilient.

00;34;20;01 - 00;34;37;17
Unknown
It doesn't need to be clean that often. Right? Right. You can, you can get by, like, for a really long time without cleaning that guy. You know, I don't recommend it. I'm just saying no every time. That's too much. But, Yeah, I mean, fear. I mean, it's all about leadership, right? Parenting, fatherhood. It's all about.

00;34;37;17 - 00;34;57;14
Unknown
It's all about leadership. So I'd say the best course is mentorship for that young man. And, in my experience, fear is one of the worst leadership tactics everywhere. Anywhere. Because fear and the I learned that in the military. I learned that from, really wise, platoon sergeant I had who was like, I don't know, he was like 22 right at the time.

00;34;57;15 - 00;35;20;09
Unknown
Yeah, like super old, but super cool. Yeah, super old. 22. And I said, hey, John, you know, you're, the guys are scared of you, and that will work right up to the moment that they fear something else more than you. And then at that moment, your leadership breaks down and that's where you need it the most. You've got to win their hearts and minds, because when they're out on their own and you're depending on them, you have to have their heart right.

00;35;20;09 - 00;35;35;23
Unknown
You have to have the heart. And then that would be my goal. You would have him capture his heart, but again, still have that potential going in to no. And again, like Skyler said, yeah, these guys are to they know they can sense it. Yeah. Little boys can sense power on the playground. Right. Like they're they're attracted to it.

00;35;35;23 - 00;35;51;10
Unknown
Like what? What do boys like? Right. They like they like motor sports and they like guns and they like bows and arrows. And, you know, boys don't want to go to a playground and swing on the swing. They want to jump off the swing. And usually, like it's meant to be, you know, they want I don't want to.

00;35;51;15 - 00;36;06;00
Unknown
They're like, how can I use this thing? How they want to use the merry go round and like hanging off the merry go round with their feet like flying in the air. And this is such a good point. What have we done with all that stuff? It's gone. We've removed it. We've removed it from our culture because it's unsafe.

00;36;06;00 - 00;36;23;20
Unknown
Yeah. It even goes back to the book of Nehemiah. Like that used to be the culture you had a man had. You know, earn his trade with one hand and protect his family with the other. We've outsourced that to a large part. And I think a lot of guys have forgotten that, that you're still responsible for your family.

00;36;23;23 - 00;36;37;20
Unknown
Right? I've heard guys say this. Well, why do I need to be able to work my family when we have a, a military police department like, you know, the fastest time a cop could get to your house or something bad was happening. Like, I got about eight minutes. Hey, Jeremy, what does an eight minute round feel like?

00;36;37;20 - 00;37;00;21
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Go. Go see for yourself. Go. Go see for yourself. Yeah yeah yeah. See what? An eight minute rule. And if we hit five minutes on response time, we think we're doing great. That's like amazing. And a five minute round. We'll, Yeah. Yeah. You know we were we to we went the Bible study on Wednesday and my oldest daughter is 17 years old.

00;37;00;23 - 00;37;18;29
Unknown
And I'm thinking about what both of you are saying. And then I'm also reflecting on the interaction that I had with my wife's father. And when I want to share a little story to illustrate what both of you share, which I think is a brilliant and my daughter is like, hey, can, can my boyfriend come with us to church?

00;37;18;29 - 00;37;37;10
Unknown
So we went to pick them up and he rode with us to church, and we were hanging out and all of the kids were just loving on him. And he and I've had some really, really in-depth conversations on an emotional level to where he's he's receive some freedom and even giving his life to the Lord has been really, really epic to see.

00;37;37;13 - 00;38;03;23
Unknown
And part of that was him being willing to yield and trust in a relational dynamic that's been built. But he also came to a rather kings event, The Crucible. And if you want to see your daughter with a man who has made a decision to do hard things and truly level up and get freedom so that he can treat her the way she deserves to be treated, and to rather kings of it make that a prerequisite.

00;38;03;25 - 00;38;18;20
Unknown
So here's what happened. We're in church and we're having prayer, and the pastor says, if you need to pray, if you need to give freedom, if you need to give you like to the if you need to repent, if there's anything on your heart, even if you just want to lay some things down, like get up here to this altar.

00;38;18;22 - 00;38;37;12
Unknown
We blank looked up and he's at the altar on all fours, and my daughter looked at me, was like, dad, rise up Kings bro, rise up, big bro. What did y'all do to him, man? Oh my God, oh my God. And we have this incredible relationship. But it was because I brought him in to the heart. Then push him away.

00;38;37;14 - 00;38;58;24
Unknown
And create a space where he could feel safe. And when it comes to our daughters, my question is are you setting a boundary as a father to create a space where she feels safe and that young man can level up before he levels out? And then for the ones who have sons, are you training your son up to be that kind of man?

00;38;58;24 - 00;39;27;00
Unknown
To be a gentleman? And they learn that best by the example that we set as fathers. So I found this statistic that I found to be really amazing. And it is that when you look at fatherless homes specifically, 85% of youth in prison come from fatherless homes, 85% of youth in prison come from fatherless homes, 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

00;39;27;02 - 00;39;52;01
Unknown
So three out of four high school dropouts didn't have a dad at home. Man. Like that's a huge impact. And then when you think about your daughter, if you have a daughter and that kid came from a fatherless home. Can you step in to fill the gap as a protector? Can you show up and be that thing for him?

00;39;52;04 - 00;40;09;03
Unknown
So I think about my first interaction with my wife's father and he said it was funny. This is literally the first thing he said to me. He's like, he's like, hey, how are you doing? I'm like, hey, how are you doing? He's like, hey, man, you know, the strip club down the street is hiring you. Why would you say that?

00;40;09;05 - 00;40;30;01
Unknown
He's like, you're all bulked up, all muscled up, glistening and going. And he was like, no, man, I'm just messing with you, man. I want to build a relationship. And man, today he and I have the best relationship ever. And he's an incredible human being. And my wife, to this day feels so secure because of the way her dad shows up.

00;40;30;03 - 00;40;54;22
Unknown
And guess what? They got divorced, her parents got divorced, and he was there for her, despite what he was going through relationally with her mother. So my question is, when we look at the significance of a father, when we look at the significance of being a protector emotionally, physically, spiritually, what's the encouragement that you would leave for the man who doesn't know where to start?

00;40;54;25 - 00;41;17;27
Unknown
Because this could be overwhelming. Man, I gotta do all this, I gotta work, I gotta provide like, oh my God. Like guys can feel overwhelmed. So what would be one if you can give one brief takeaway for the guys who are watching this to say, hey man, no matter where you are, start with this simple thing today and you can show up and be a powerful, dangerous dad.

00;41;17;29 - 00;41;41;07
Unknown
Or to be, you got to slow down like if if you're if you were a car and you haven't been working on that car, haven't been doing maintenance on that car, haven't or maybe, you know, you'll have some sort of like high end fast car and, and you just try to drive it like a race car tomorrow, like the wheels are going to fall off, right?

00;41;41;07 - 00;42;21;14
Unknown
This thing's going to come apart. And so you don't have to be a race car tomorrow. But if you slow down and start with the B, we teach some content here, right? This idea of B to have we start with the B. If you just start with slowing down, going to God in a way that is both speaking to and listening from, you go into a place of prayer and asking God for clarity about who you be, who you want to be, what do you want to be starting right there?

00;42;21;16 - 00;42;40;25
Unknown
I believe like that is, in my opinion, the starting point, getting clarity on who it is we say we want to be and then after that, now we've we've determined a destination. Like if we're going to go on a road trip, we've determined the destination. Now I'm starting from where I am. I am getting clear on where does I want to go.

00;42;41;00 - 00;42;56;16
Unknown
And there's many different routes that we can get to that destination. We can take the most scenic route. We can take the fastest route. We can take a route that has us visiting family and friends along the way. But the thing is, is that when we get clear on the destination now, we know when we're off and we take a wrong turn.

00;42;56;18 - 00;43;19;22
Unknown
So slow down, start with the B who do you b I'll say my next is because I was mine is exactly what yours is my first. So then I would say once that's done I'd say my number two would be to evaluate yourself. If you're on a scale of lion and lamb right. I would evaluate where in the scale are you.

00;43;19;24 - 00;43;38;27
Unknown
So you don't you want to hit the middle of the scale? That would be my call. Like you want to have the potential to swing full lamb when your daughter comes home crying over a breakup. You want to be able to force goes full lion. When that guy walks into the restroom after your son, right? You want to have the potential to do both.

00;43;39;01 - 00;43;59;15
Unknown
And just be honest with yourself and maybe get some feedback from the people around you. Like how do you experience me? Am I a dangerous man? And do I have the potential to be dangerous and the ability to reel it in and to be in, to be caring? You get that honest feedback. Beautiful. What can you say? You want to get this right here, right?

00;43;59;15 - 00;44;24;26
Unknown
Slow it down and then ask for feedback. I mean truly like slow down, see where you want to be right down. How are you going to get there? The process is going to take. And then along that way, as you're going toward that path, get feedback as, hey, how do you experience me? Once you get that feedback, then you can make the course corrections, but do this slow and methodically.

00;44;24;26 - 00;44;55;11
Unknown
This is a marathon. This isn't a this isn't a sprint is this is like the long haul game. Yeah. And part of the feedback is being close enough to other people, 100% whose advice or feedback that you'd actually like to receive. Right. It's what's happening in this room. One of the reasons I love this place so much is that you get to be around so many, like, high octane dudes that are on this trajectory, at different points along that trajectory, we have men all like, we have people who just gave their life to Christ a few weeks ago, few months ago, and are on this trajectory.

00;44;55;11 - 00;45;19;12
Unknown
We have we have gray beards in the faith in here, too. And so all these different men being mere associations like that is a huge you are an amalgamation of the top five people. You spend the most time around. If that's true, then what are you? What kind of alloy are you? If you are, and if it's true that you're an amalgamation of the top five people you spend the most time around?

00;45;19;14 - 00;45;41;16
Unknown
Well, if you determine that who you want to be. Based on that, that the people you're hanging around the aggregate of that isn't in like, isn't in alignment with who it is you say you want to be. Well, some things are going to end up needing to change their. Yeah, that was right on mine, brother. Associations. Sorry.

00;45;41;16 - 00;46;00;25
Unknown
Yeah. You went twice. Jeremy. I was close like for that. I get in trouble a lot around here. Yeah. So I would say, man, environment or associations, right? We're an average of the five people we spend the most time with. So dedicating time to go shift your environment, bring the people around you. So that could look like joining, jujitsu gym.

00;46;00;28 - 00;46;17;03
Unknown
That would be shifting your environment. And you're in associations that would be grabbing a couple buddies and saying, hey, do you want to do you want to go step into another level of intentional fatherhood? Like, hey, do you want to do you want to go read this book? It's a great book called The Intentional Father. Right? Do you want to go find a way to become a better father together?

00;46;17;03 - 00;46;37;26
Unknown
Do you want to go find a way to go level up and do hard things together? Right? Rise up Kings. We're all about doing hard things. So I'd say like, go find some guys that want to go do some hard things. I want to go sharpen themselves, to level up and to become a dangerous husband, a dangerous father, a dangerous human being.

00;46;37;28 - 00;46;56;12
Unknown
Not for the fluffer, because it sounds cool, but because you just want to. You want to operate with that level of power inside of your life. It was a great, great, great. Share that. People are attracted to power, right? People are attracted to power. And so when we can step into more power, you don't look at a rabbit and go, man, it's powerful.

00;46;56;14 - 00;47;14;04
Unknown
You look at a line, you go do that guy is powerful. So. So you're shifting your physical presence. Can I help you step into a new level of power, shifting your spiritual your faith right can help you step into a new level of power. Reading the Bible. Our power comes from God. Our response, our power. Power by God, right?

00;47;14;04 - 00;47;37;10
Unknown
We get our power from God, but we got to step into it. But man, all that power comes from him. So I'd say starting learning to operate with more power, but doing that with other dudes, finding some other guys that you can go on this journey with, you're not doing it by yourself. Powerful. So as we leave this particular podcast, a couple of things I want you to remember.

00;47;37;10 - 00;48;04;27
Unknown
Number one, if you have children, you are dead. God is equipped you with that gift to be a dad. And here's the reality you are the hero, the first hero to your son, the first love to your daughter, designated to be the king to your queen. Don't take it lightly. It's a gift. So as you build what God has put in your hands to build, make sure that you're equipped with the weapon to protect what he's giving you to build.

00;48;04;29 - 00;48;28;00
Unknown
Because you are the king of that kingdom, and the kingdom can't fall unless the king falls first. So protect what God has given you, and I'm gonna leave you with this little acronym that just came up for me. Something to remember. All this incredible wisdom that's important to you, dad? A dad is disciplined. But when you think about discipline, the root word of that is disciple.

00;48;28;00 - 00;48;51;02
Unknown
A disciple follows after Christ. He's a learner. So make a commitment today to continue to learn something new every single day. You look up in a year, you look up. In ten years, you're going to be a different human being. You're going to be a dangerous man. So discipline in your spiritual growth in the time you spend with God, discipline in the way you show up to connect with your family, discipline in the way that you discipline your body and subject your flesh so that you're prepared.

00;48;51;05 - 00;49;12;17
Unknown
Because preparation time is never waste time. Discipline number two anchored. Stay anchored in the word. That is where you'll find your strength. Stay anchored and rooted in Christ. Get with a group of other men and anchor yourself with associations that can hold you up to a higher level to take account for the ability that God has placed in you.

00;49;12;20 - 00;49;34;19
Unknown
And then last but not least, dangerous. Likely to do harm whenever necessary to protect the very thing that you love. That is what a dad is all about. Step up and become the dad that you are meant to be. Your time starts now. We look forward to seeing you in our next episode.