Strong Men Cry Too: The Truth About Faith and Struggle

In this episode of the Rise Up Kings Coaches Corner Podcast, Skylar Lewis and Mondoe Davis sit down with powerful Christian men — including a former Marine, Jon wood, a Green Beret, Jeremy McWilliams and a high-level business leader Jared Hellums, CEO of Constructuable — to uncover the truth about pain, faith, masculinity, and spiritual growth.

We explore why pain is the path for men, how the Bible is the ultimate compass for navigating life’s chaos, and why every man must face suffering instead of running from it. From personal tragedy to overcoming addiction, this conversation exposes what it means to be a man of God under pressure.

If you’ve ever wondered:
– Why does God allow pain?
– How do strong men break down and rebuild?
– Can Scripture truly rewire your life?
– What does it look like when a Green Beret cries out to God?

This conversation will change the way you see pain, purpose, and manhood.

🔔 Subscribe for more powerful conversations on faith, masculinity, leadership, and becoming the man God created you to be.

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For more information on Rise Up Kings, go to https://riseupkings.com/youtube

Not ready to do an in-person event? Join our online community here riseupkings.com/4pillarman-yt

Transcript

00:00:01:13 - 00:00:23:21
Unknown
And it will be given him. So, so to your points in the navigating the situations. Happiness is time. It's a mindset. It's a disc instance. But here's some way life to see navigate growing stronger Christian Bible Society 7% less likely to struggle. Engage with Scripture at least in 28%. More likely, those who read the Bible for 9% less likely to view center for Bible Engagement.

00:00:23:28 - 00:00:42:28
Unknown
Engagement is linked to lower 87% of your purpose in life, but is right here, in between these pages, daily Bible readers are ethical decisions that work. Read the Bible regularly are 55 people who engage with the 30% less likely to struggle with. All the answers are right here in the Bible. Daily are three times 90% of those who forgive others more easily.

00:00:42:28 - 00:00:55:28
Unknown
When your life, the last one, has a greater impact on spiritual growth. People who read the Bible a week percent more likely to. What would your life look like if you had your.

00:00:56:01 - 00:01:20:06
Unknown
The most to resource you? Fulfill the thing that you're called to do in more. Yeah hey hey yeah it's rap haha. There's a couple things. The the is is one is perspective. Perspective things you're looking at in life. Mine is completely still allowing God to work through the other thought that I had and, and I know been with me the entire time.

00:01:20:06 - 00:01:36:11
Unknown
Addiction. God the cool thing about had not use chosen to use. My God was still there waiting to to not show me a better a. That's the promise. And it it as it always has been.

00:01:36:14 - 00:02:00:29
Unknown
Is good better to us. For me I want to do some do sex poor and of my wife she just she said last night. I ever forget the love and compassion that came for was when I just started, when we were in New York. She's. I'll never forget the look me man. The forgiveness she and I remember my flesh one.

00:02:01:02 - 00:02:23:02
Unknown
I was just like man need to destruction, death. Other route. There's no other common direction. When sin enters the door that it might take 20 years death by a thousand cuts, that that's the destination. And I was like, I want to kill my relational what God has. So remember the next night and me just praying, opening up, saying Lord, to heal my heart from the past pain would free me.

00:02:23:04 - 00:02:43:21
Unknown
And I just remember why am I lapsing it? Yeah, I, do this night one night for thank you. And I just remember this book. I was married and here's. Wow. By the grace of complete shift over in coming into terms with God allowed us to be my North compass. It's been it's been almost 20 years. And like, look at what this Bible life.

00:02:43:27 - 00:03:07:23
Unknown
Yeah power in the word. I remember I was sitting and we read this some stuff with me and man of the word become like his in his body. He fell to the was a release of something that were so there's there is lived and praying the word of to break through like like there is so much power in praying specifics over a situation and knowing and memorizing Christians most memorized.

00:03:08:01 - 00:03:32:19
Unknown
How do you remember? People are, yeah, 100% more likely to memorize just by just spending some time, maybe having some intentionality, doc, where I have all this that I am memorizing and I study those scriptures and I'm right, a couple minutes rest. And so I was wondering, like, yeah, we'll dive into the word Bible. Your next level is spend some time memorizing the word over your fam, word over your wife, over your kids when they're not.

00:03:32:19 - 00:03:44:04
Unknown
Just because it'll make them feel will power. Something will shift by somebody that is, in your God made up 11 that it will not return void.

00:03:44:07 - 00:04:01:11
Unknown
But six of it. But but let's just add an everyday carry. Why do you why would you carry. Okay. Change a change of. So you go. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go back around. I'll see it. I'm in case you need it. Right? Right. Yep. Unseat. You're going to get into in the world, right. Well, now you're getting personal, right?

00:04:01:11 - 00:04:22:01
Unknown
So if we had a little micrograms and so, so had armed yourself, you should have in every day that you have. And I borrow this from ask you the question. Okay. Carrie, I mean, your your scriptures that you you're gonna use it for answered. That's beautiful. Right. So have or five every day, every day. Carry scripture and then get it to your 30 around your belt.

00:04:22:01 - 00:04:39:21
Unknown
Feed whatever you can load out or. Yeah. And when I was first, I went to the and I was buying a guy and he's like when he's like, well, you know, said magazine. Yeah. And or I like use the word clip. So anyway, I'm like California the limit and out. He know if there's a line, I don't know if I don't know.

00:04:39:21 - 00:04:56:12
Unknown
So he showed me all I 20 round, but I was like, wow. Like, you keep that big. And so is it a little off topic? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Some of us are getting to everyday carry in the word more and more as a consequence of being just reading your your from your app or whatever. You're start to dig in.

00:04:56:12 - 00:05:19:13
Unknown
What will happen of living a life in this way will grow like the in that magazine. This theoretical, this you're around capacity will be nice. The things happen. It will just shined that that the his or those that that read it will just come to him. They with jujitsu the do the more and more that technique. And when you find yourself you start when you're initially start and you'll get stuck a very get stuck and not know what to do.

00:05:19:14 - 00:05:43:22
Unknown
But the more and more you, you show up every day and you get in there all by your friends. You're getting strangled by your friends, you're doing situations, by your friends now deliberately hurting you. And as you that to the practice, what will happen is that you do from where you are. This happens so much. I'm in this jujitsu journey where you're very encouraging places where you to occur to me to do, setting up multiple moves together, words and end.

00:05:43:22 - 00:06:06:07
Unknown
And all of a sudden that shows up to my jujitsu game. Same thing with the wager. Is that because believe it, you you miss truth. We show up, we show up to God. The Bible daily of of regular is that when you find yourself you what to do, it'll. You know I love against the jujitsu because I can also shift to the because it's really a little hard, right?

00:06:06:07 - 00:06:18:13
Unknown
Like if you have it, you're in the chute ready to go is available. And what is for types of prayer? And that's when I was a new prayer, right? Where you just ask for stuff and that's that church. After the pasta is done for you, how can we pray for someone who's like me on that? So, this is a great example.

00:06:18:16 - 00:06:38:13
Unknown
Is late in my law enforcement career, always a believer in non practice. And in the later I started praying before I would go in. And it may sound kind of social situations for police officers search on LSD. They monitor their tensions rise and as are driving the relationships in this thing about the job session. And when I would drive in, I'd have to deal with Irwin as well as I could go go.

00:06:38:19 - 00:06:54:17
Unknown
But every time I stop, prayed for that and delve to see that individual, the best version of myself just it doesn't take a lot. Just like on right here. Like, what do I need to see? I need to hear, help me speak to. I didn't do this every time I did. So it goes really? Really. Yeah. But it goes really.

00:06:54:17 - 00:07:11:06
Unknown
And then I'd forget about it, you know, at to do something. I get into something that my personal flourishing to maybe get worse than it could have discouraged thinking man, I don't have time for Bible and prayer. 30 minutes right now. I got little kids. I'm up. I'm working. Would you say, based on what I'm hearing, you essentially just a conversation, things like that, to a friend?

00:07:11:09 - 00:07:40:20
Unknown
Probably the last time and two over the last couple of years where I just lament for me who I feel like I'm wronged and I'm gone. That was something I feel like what I'm feeling, the wife that doesn't go away. It always goes well. Saying that can't be like God, like this would happen and and just get at us and then and the clarity that the, the power to come from just there is so it's literally so that's one of the things that we watch is that we have these high octane business, and these guys are crushing it where they're used to solving solving problems is high level leaders teach you how to give

00:07:40:21 - 00:07:58:02
Unknown
a conversation the same way with the to hear the responses prayer. If you did the same thing this place so so when I think about two men, it's just the high powered school. Is that right? We're surrounded. Oung. Men of God by the church is right. It's a place where you can go to learn. And we Christians.

00:07:58:02 - 00:08:16:08
Unknown
And so I, I am on my self-worth. So I want to be around man. That love integrated Jesus into every. Which is what right now. It's just fun seeing them walking and seeing your for Christ. There's there's when a strong man and a dude that's courageous and a beautiful thing. Get ready to wrap up this session right here.

00:08:16:08 - 00:08:34:04
Unknown
Credible high level leader board. And I have so much respect for room right now. All the guys that are thinking, man, how can I do a better job reading spending time in prayer? But you could give a 32nd or less for a man who may feel figure out how to immerse this. What would you say? I would say, choose civic time, that you'll read the word.

00:08:34:04 - 00:08:54:05
Unknown
Maybe it's right after coffee, but how do you always read it while grab your coffee and to spending time and and you can read the word with you or another accountability partner. I want to study, Proverbs and then we can text back and forward. So having some accountable where you are, you are start where you are Scripture and your nap a day.

00:08:54:07 - 00:09:08:21
Unknown
Start there. Wait until something speaks to you when something and hold on to it. Start with grow beautiful. I'd add prayer times a day and it would look something, one or something you already do. That one eats every day, so it doesn't have to be just about the meal your whole day. So that would be well for you.

00:09:08:21 - 00:09:24:29
Unknown
Just talk to God for someone else once a day. My experience with men, the Christianity I've heard a lot of ministers say so I don't like to pray out loud. Whatever words you have, if you know how to pray so. But where is you're not going to get better and better at it. Beautiful. What what's coming in my no.

00:09:24:29 - 00:09:49:05
Unknown
Like, emotional here, man. Sorry. Run to him. If you've been trying to and orient yourself whenever an existence you've been trying to do that without I. Please believe me. There's a so don't walk, bro. Don't be haphazard. Run to him. Where are memorizing scripture church like you, I don't care the mode, I don't care. And it when you start running the God who has always next to you.

00:09:49:09 - 00:10:12:26
Unknown
Well, I have ears to hear him, but he must run in. I'm quick and voice here so. Because if you it's not everyone in the week that will pay the cost to our, marches or trailers, we will. We're carrying a load and you are carrying a load. It's your family. It's a life that you're creating. The father that looks like.

00:10:12:26 - 00:10:32:09
Unknown
But if there's something I said I want you to ignite. Having, like, a where you are in a shake. When the word run is run to the father. Oh, as you guys, it's over my right shoulder throughout this. And I've been thinking about this. And I want to be right here. It grew. Please. So I get shot of that.

00:10:32:10 - 00:10:59:19
Unknown
You got it. So all of you. And then Ephesians chapter five, put on the helmet of salvation, the blood of faith, the sword of the spirit, the shoes of the gospel of peace. Every single one of these weapons offensive except the one that is offensive. Bible is equivalent. It is an offense. Another thing that you'll notice is that on the backside, Coach Jeremy is not the from the thing that's for you to square up and everything that you need right here in the a winner to be a champion.

00:10:59:19 - 00:11:25:01
Unknown
It's called you to be smart, but it's up to you to wake up whole armor and it start. I've also heard it said the Bible since before. There's books for it's writers, languages, God, the Lord of Lords, the God of all. He's given you this book for you to read it to read you. Will you step up and be.

00:11:25:03 - 00:23:06:11
Unknown
He's equipped you with the armor set you to take your compass at the destination intended. Don't miss your opportunity.

00:23:06:14 - 00:23:28:03
Unknown
It literally shifts our soul. It shifts our emotional character, our habits, our behaviors, our mindsets get formed by Scripture up to the point where it actually brings all of those things into alignment under Christ will be come into alignment for the assignment that God has for us. When we speak His Word and profess His Word is shall not return.

00:23:28:03 - 00:23:45:17
Unknown
Void, in other words, is not going to come back unless the mission is accomplished. What do you say to the person who stood on the word, but didn't see the return on the investment, completely full of grace and compassion and love? I wouldn't throw anything in that person's face. All things happen together for the good of those that love him, that are called according to his purpose.

00:23:45:17 - 00:24:04:26
Unknown
That is true even when I don't see it. It works despite me not knowing how it works. Do we trust that he's going to take care of us even when it doesn't look the way we think it should look? Don't walk, don't crawl, don't stroll. Don't be haphazard with intention. Run to him. It's not just you that pays, it's everyone.

00:24:04:26 - 00:24:22:23
Unknown
In the wake of your responsibility that will pay the cost. Welcome to the Rise Up Kings Coaches Corners podcast. I'm your host, Coach Mondo. I'm here with some incredible men. So excited about our conversation today. We have Skyler Lewis, the founder CEO of Rise Up Kings. We have Jerry Helms, founder and CEO of constructible. We have Coach John.

00:24:22:26 - 00:24:45:27
Unknown
He is a former marine and former state trooper, powerful man. One of our coaches here by the Kings. And we have Coach Jeremy, also a Green Beret, really excited about our conversation. To help you understand the power significance of doubting into the Word of God that can change your life as you spend time in prayer. How does the Bible benefit your life and why is it important to read the Bible and spend time in prayer?

00:24:45:29 - 00:25:07:25
Unknown
I think we hear these things and we understand them conceptually, but when you look at the practicality of taking the time to wake up, read your Bible. Why is that important? Let's have a conversation. Yeah, I'll start out there's a great book, by Dallas Will are called renovation of the heart. And it talks about spiritual transfer, a spiritual formation.

00:25:07:27 - 00:25:36:07
Unknown
So what happens is, is when we read Scripture and we spend time in the word, what happens is, is it it it literally shifts our soul. It it forms our soul, meaning it shifts our emotional character. Our habits start to get formed. Our behaviors start to get formed, our mindsets, get formed by Scripture to the point where it actually brings all of those things into alignment under Christ.

00:25:36:09 - 00:25:54:23
Unknown
And so the reason PE so many people struggle and are not living in freedom is all of those aspects of our soul are disordered. They're all over the place, right? Our habits are over here, but our will and our heart like, wants Jesus. But right. We're stuck in pornography or alcohol addiction or where we're over here. Then our mindsets are over here.

00:25:54:23 - 00:26:14:22
Unknown
So it's all disordered and so when we spend time in the word, there's a spiritual forming process that happens that starts to bring those in alignment and actually shifts us at a soul level. And that's why it's so important to not just spend one minute doing a daily devotion or a verse of the day that doesn't shift you at a soul level.

00:26:14:22 - 00:26:44:14
Unknown
It's when you really dive in and start to explore and then God works on you. There's a there's something that happens when you read scripture. It's alive and it's alive and it shifts. It shifts you again at a core level for my experience. And. Yeah, from the from what we teach, beautiful. Yeah. For me, it's, it's kind of a funny question, actually, because it'd be the same thing if you were to ask the question, like, help me understand why you feel breathing is important.

00:26:44:17 - 00:27:09:12
Unknown
Yeah. It's like it's it's the way in which or through which I'm able to do everything else in my life. Like, okay, well, I can't have relationships, play sports, go to school, have a job, make money, have the I can't do anything unless I breathe as I drink water, put on clothes during the day. It is the it's the the way through which all other things are oriented.

00:27:09:15 - 00:27:31:08
Unknown
And so like as I think what Skyler said, there is a part of it is this idea of like as you read and start to consume the Scripture, it becomes the worldview through which the lens through which you view everything yourself, your interactions with others. It's the way in which you orient everything in the world, is the lens through which you orient to the world.

00:27:31:12 - 00:27:54:12
Unknown
And so, yeah, I find the questions kind of funny is like, if if you are a person who doesn't regularly read your Bible, who doesn't use the Bible as this, this compass to navigate your way through this jungle of life, then maybe what you've experienced is a lot of chaos and a lot of going the wrong directions and a lot of going and hitting dead ends.

00:27:54:12 - 00:28:08:01
Unknown
And maybe you experience a lot of that, like, I mean, I don't know how to navigate this thing in my relationship or this thing going on in my self. I don't know how to orient it to the world yet. Yeah. When we don't use a compass and we're trying to navigate, that's what happens. We don't know which way's north.

00:28:08:03 - 00:28:33:29
Unknown
And so then therefore we can't decide to go in any direction. Or like we constantly stumble over things because the the method by which to orient ourselves isn't there. If you don't, if you don't read, not just read, but like consume and and and use it and contemplate it and mull it over, and then when you couple that with prayer and so it's a whole nother conversation rather than the question you just ask.

00:28:33:29 - 00:28:51:15
Unknown
But yeah, it's the way in which it I orient everything in my life, man. I, I always hate it when you talk in front of me because we have rivers. We have the same. You have the same reading list, so you're always thinking the same thing I am. And then you say it better than I was going to say it.

00:28:51:15 - 00:29:10:04
Unknown
So, But, I guess what I'll say is, you crush that with, it's about the navigation, right? It's about the navigation. And so I'll just jump into the, the application that for me is it's very important for me to get that done early in the day. Just like in a trip. You want to break out your compass at the beginning of the trip?

00:29:10:04 - 00:29:28:12
Unknown
Yeah. And, in my experience, when I was a younger Christian, I would break out the compass once I was a little lost. Right. Like, things aren't going well. Let's turn to God, all right? And I'll handle this. Like. Yeah, yeah. And it's like breaking out the compass halfway through the trip. So by jumping in the word early in the day.

00:29:28:17 - 00:29:44:18
Unknown
Right. And, what I learned was more than 20 minutes is the best for me. And I had read somewhere that your brain really doesn't fully immerse itself into a story until you're about ten minutes into the story. So the first ten minutes or reading anything, any kind of written material, is a little more difficult on your brain.

00:29:44:25 - 00:30:03:25
Unknown
And if you're reading for less than ten minutes, it can actually train your brain. That reading's difficult. It's not that fun. And after ten minutes, that's when your brain really starts to imagine what the characters look like. Try to imagine what the the surrounding is, what the story really comes to life for you. And, yeah, just like 20 minutes them in the morning before I get going.

00:30:03:25 - 00:30:22:05
Unknown
And then that changes my navigation to where it's like, okay, how do I go out into the world and make a difference as opposed to showing up to work? And it's, hey, I got to do this thing. I get to answer these emails. I have to maybe talk with this difficult employee. It just changes everything. The navigation is completely different.

00:30:22:07 - 00:30:47:10
Unknown
I know when in my life, when I read the Bible every morning and it's, it's most mornings that I get this done. My life is very unhurried. And I love the term unhurried when I when I don't take the time and to read and really devote not just my, my being to to reading. My life seems so unorganized, so out of place.

00:30:47:12 - 00:31:14:14
Unknown
Everything. Everything seems to be, it just chaotic. And so if I'll take the time to sit and read, it seems everything, it puts everything in my life in such order and gives me such a peace about my approach in life. The just. I can't even go back and think about the days before I did this. So it's the way that I establish my base in the morning, and without it, I'm lost, man.

00:31:14:14 - 00:31:30:18
Unknown
Powerful. So there's two scriptures. One is in Matthew chapter six, verse 33. It says, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and everything. All things will be added to you. All these things that we worry about, what are we going to eat? What are we going to wear? What are we going to do? All those things will be added to you.

00:31:30:20 - 00:31:53:11
Unknown
But there's one here in Isaiah chapter 55, verse 11, and I want to read and it says, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth. It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. This scripture hit me deep in my soul.

00:31:53:13 - 00:32:17:24
Unknown
And the reason why is because when we come into alignment for the assignment that God has for us, and we look at this book, this playbook for life and apply it, God gives us a promise right here in Isaiah that when we speak His Word and profess His Word is shall not return. Boy, in other words, is not going to come back unless the mission is accomplished right?

00:32:17:27 - 00:32:45:10
Unknown
So we got some form of military in here. And the analogy that comes to mind is when a general gives his orders, the soldiers go and execute. Talk a little bit about that in terms of the orders being given by a general, and what that looks like from a practical perspective before they're able to come back. Well, you certainly don't want to come back unless the mission that you've been given, the orders that you've been given have been fulfilled.

00:32:45:12 - 00:33:17:16
Unknown
Like you have a I think that's interesting because you have a, an obligation to carry out a law or you are compelled to carry out a lawful order, like from a, from a law standpoint, like contractually, by law, you have like the Uniform Code of Military Justice says that you will execute a lawful order, and if you do not, then you will be subject to a UCMJ action, like you can be prosecuted under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

00:33:17:16 - 00:33:39:02
Unknown
If you do not execute on the lawful command given to you by a superior. And so, but it's interesting there, that verse, if you think about it from a, from a marketplace standpoint, like I have made investments in things that do not return and ROI.

00:33:39:05 - 00:33:58:18
Unknown
Yeah. Like exactly like I've been, I've been really punched in the face and saw pause for a moment. Like he's like really reliving it. Yeah. I have made investment, but that's how, that's how the that's how the that's how humans work. That's how that's how earthly investments work. We can make an investment and if it was a wise investment, then great.

00:33:58:22 - 00:34:22:13
Unknown
But but there's an option to make unwise investments. There is no God. There was no option for God to make an unwise investment. Every investment that God makes, it always brings a return. And so, like, if God has made an investment in you, then it will not. I'm going to use a double negative. It it it will not return without a yield.

00:34:22:13 - 00:34:51:01
Unknown
It will not return without an ROI. So God only makes investments that return an ROI. That includes you, that includes us. The investments that he makes in us, even though we. It's our garbage that feels unworthy. It's our garbage that feels like we're we're, We're less than or not enough. No, man. God, the only investments that God makes are profitable ones.

00:34:51:04 - 00:35:12:16
Unknown
They will profit his kingdom. So inquiring minds want to know. Okay, that sounds great. The Bible says this. I respect this guy. You know, I know he's made it to the top elite in the Army, the Green Beret. And I get it from a legal perspective. But my freaking mom died when I was praying for her.

00:35:12:18 - 00:35:35:08
Unknown
My dad never came back home. I was abused. What do you say to the person who stood on the word but didn't see the return on the investment? What do you say to that person who say, man, I believe God and I trust him, but yet this desire in my heart remains unfulfilled. What do we say to that person watching right now?

00:35:35:08 - 00:35:57:28
Unknown
Listening right now? Well, in the same way that Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, I would speak to that person with the 100% truth and 100% grace. And so, completely full of grace and compassion and love. And so I wouldn't throw anything in that person's face, but the the, the message I would give them is that, Romans 828 is still true, even when I don't understand it.

00:35:58:01 - 00:36:20:01
Unknown
Like all things happen together for the good of those that love him and are called according to his purpose. That is true even when I don't see it. I don't understand how calculus works, but it for sure still works. It works despite me not knowing how it works in Romans 828 is still true, even though I can't see how it's true from where I am.

00:36:20:03 - 00:36:49:07
Unknown
So what other scriptural references can someone lean on when they don't fully understand? From a cognitive perspective, the things that have happened in their life, the unfolding of events that were steaming? Lee distraught, seemingly detrimental. Deleterious? How does that person recover when they legitimately been the victim? Man, I can speak to this for sure. You know, tragically, I watched my son die in 2011 and it was run over by a car.

00:36:49:09 - 00:37:26:29
Unknown
And, it was a tough time. It was a tough time. And I risked every day and knowing where he is, I rest every day and knowing that he's no longer suffering. And God's promises fulfilled. And I also had the opportunity at that point that I could either trust God and move forward, or I could use it as an excuse and and pick up a lot of things and anger and and entitlement and, and listen to the enemy of what the enemy is putting in my head about what God did to me.

00:37:26:29 - 00:37:49:07
Unknown
And God did not do that to me. But the results of it are still good. I mean, the results of of Romans 828 is still good because my life has continued to grow and God has continued to work in my life to significantly impact other people's lives for the Kingdom, for the good of the Kingdom to this day come on.

00:37:49:14 - 00:38:08:11
Unknown
So, I know personally, what it's done for me. And I don't I'm not going to sit here and say I have the answers like, if I had my my good friends wife just passed and he's a pastor of a church, and he prayed and prayed for seven years. They prayed over cancer. And I don't have the answers of why.

00:38:08:13 - 00:38:35:25
Unknown
And I don't have the answers. I don't have those, and I don't know what to say. But I know God is faithful. God has continued to be faithful to this day through all of those situations. You know what that's bringing up? Two different experiences I had with two different friends. So I think this ties back to the compass analogy of knowing where you are or knowing where you're going before you start the trip.

00:38:35:28 - 00:38:59:09
Unknown
There's so much benefit in that, so difficult to get yourself back on course once you're off course, or once the trip gets scary or difficult. And, my first friend, he had, his mom had passed away and I was out speaking with him, and, he's he's not a practicing believer. And, in the conversation, he says, well, I guess she's in a better place.

00:38:59:11 - 00:39:25:24
Unknown
And instantly I looked at him and I'm like, he doesn't believe that. And he said this. He said it because that's what he had learned, people say, but I could hear it in his voice that this didn't really gave him no relief, like no relief at all. That knowledge, and another example I would say is I have some, some really close friends who are in our Bible study, and their daughter was killed by a, drunk driver, beautiful young woman, in our late teens, beautiful woman.

00:39:25:24 - 00:39:46:21
Unknown
And, she was killed by a drunk driver. And they're very strong believers. And, man, it was a very, very difficult time for them for a very long time. However, I've never seen a couple weather something so well together. And it just brought them back closer together, closer to God, their entire family. And of course, it was really hard on them.

00:39:46:23 - 00:40:10:06
Unknown
But they took that experience and went and started a whole grief ministry and have been able to speak into the lives of others who've been suffering. And, it's just it's just the difference of where that compass can change your direction. Can I, can I take this back to you? Talked about a general giving an order and and I'm probably not the best person at the table to speak to this, but I understand a little bit about how it works.

00:40:10:08 - 00:40:29:13
Unknown
Is, is when a general gives an order, it trickles down. So when it gets down to Jeremy to execute and we're going to say you're going to kick in a door. And Jeremy is executing one little piece of that mission, not not always fully understanding what's going on or the whole operation, the whole lot of a ratio of what, though.

00:40:29:16 - 00:40:50:10
Unknown
And so we have to understand, when we're working in God's kingdom, sometimes our job is to kick in the stinking door. Right? Really good. That's our job. Yeah. So so this scripture comes to mind as y'all are talking and I believe it's a counterpart to Romans 828. And it's in James chapter one. I want to read verses two, 3 or 4.

00:40:50:15 - 00:41:26:23
Unknown
It says, count it all joy. My brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith, remember that word testing produces steadfastness. Other versions say maturity. Some say strength. Verse four, and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. So when I think about the relationship to pain here at Rise Up Pains, we say pain is the path and the relationship that we naturally are inclined to have with pain is.

00:41:26:26 - 00:41:44:14
Unknown
I don't want that and the tendency is to run away from it. But according to this, we should be smiling in the midst of pain. Although it is counterintuitive why? Here's the analogy that comes to mind. If we go to the weight room right now, I can turn that bench into a desk. I could take a nap there.

00:41:44:14 - 00:42:14:15
Unknown
I can eat my lunch there, but it's not designed for me to sit down and take a nap on the bench. The the bench was designed for me to press weight, and that weight is painful. If I expect to grow and become strong. So we take that same principle and apply it to our lives. What does it look like for the world to become our weight room, to leverage the painful moment so that we can strengthen our soul so that we're fully prepared to execute the orders that God gives us?

00:42:14:18 - 00:42:34:04
Unknown
So when you think about going to the weight room and you get a heavy workout and afterwards you feel horrible and it was hard and you're sweaty and you're feeling beat up, you're actually ripping those muscle fibers. You're tearing and shredding muscle fibers. It's painful. But the next morning when you look in the mirror, oh, that lactic acid builds up in God, look at all the swollen I feel great.

00:42:34:04 - 00:42:50:13
Unknown
Why? Because I know that I went through the pain, so I actually look forward to the pain now because I know what it's going to produce in me. So when you have that same mindset towards the pain that we experience in life, we're like, man, this sucks that my wife is going through this pain like I have a brother in law right now.

00:42:50:13 - 00:43:10:22
Unknown
His wife is 37, 38 years old, five kids, cancer, paralyzed in the legs now. And I've never seen a better example of that than than him exercising this. Because when I go see him now, he's taking care of all five of his kids. He's taking care of him. He literally has a picture of he can't walk home. And I've never seen another man with more joy in the midst of such a painful day.

00:43:10:24 - 00:43:32:03
Unknown
What does that look like? If we were to embrace that relationship? Let's see. The world is our weight room. What's, What's pretty wild is, as I look around this room, right? As rock coaches, I know all of your guys have stories, and all of you have been through some deep stuff, right? Some serious, serious stuff from your past.

00:43:32:05 - 00:43:57:11
Unknown
And yet, here you are, right. Coaching other men like that journey has led you here. That path has led you here. It's just the most beautiful thing. Right? So it's it's it's that stuff's true. The Bible is true. That perseverance that we get from going through the trials in our faith being tested has led us to this room where we now go get to impact thousands of men, through our paths.

00:43:57:11 - 00:44:15:27
Unknown
But, man, if if you hadn't gone through the things that you've gone through, I don't think you would. You wouldn't be in this room. You probably wouldn't be doing what you're doing. So there's just something beautiful about, I mean, it's hard to say that. It's hard to say. There's something beautiful about pain. But pain does. It's a refining process.

00:44:15:27 - 00:44:35:29
Unknown
We have the event called the refinery. Like Jessica right now, she's going through a ton of pain, right? She has Lyme disease, and it's freaking brutal, right? Pain. Every single day. And it's shifted me. It's shifted our relationship. It's shifted, in a very positive way. Like, we're so much stronger now, but it's also transformed her. It's completely transformed her.

00:44:35:29 - 00:44:54:20
Unknown
Her relationship with God is so much stronger. She used to have a tight grip on life and trying to control things, but when you're struggling every day, you can't. You can't control it. It just is what it is. So you learn to loosen the grip. So now she's like, loosen the grip. And just going and flowing and trusting God every day.

00:44:54:23 - 00:45:15:16
Unknown
And it's the most it's the most beautiful thing. She has more joy now than I've seen her have before, even though she's in pain on a regular basis. So now we don't know why it happens. Exactly right. We trust this. I think our aim, our core aim underneath all of it, our foundation matters the most. Do we trust that God is going to is a good God?

00:45:15:18 - 00:45:31:17
Unknown
Do we trust that he's going to take care of us, even when it doesn't look the way we think it should look? And if we do trust that, then we just we keep being open handed. Lord, I don't know. I don't know why this is happening, and I trust that you have me on the right path that you want me on.

00:45:31:20 - 00:45:57:17
Unknown
It's interesting. It's like she reoriented herself, like the she wasn't able to control the circumstances of this. Right. And despite working. But there isn't an ability to necessarily control the circumstances. But she's the one who decided to reorient herself to the pain that she's feeling because she has every, like, every reason to substantiate being angry and ticked off and short with the kids and short with you.

00:45:57:17 - 00:46:21:12
Unknown
She has every right to be able to do that. Well, this thing hurts me so bad I can. But we you. If we take a look at our lives, we all have pain. Like pain is a constant. You will experience pain in this life, either the pain that results from growth or the pain that results from stagnation and the infestation and the infection that happens from like from water that doesn't move.

00:46:21:19 - 00:46:45:23
Unknown
So you get to choose your pain. But, when the circumstances come down, it's a it's been interesting hearing you say that because, like, I see that all over, like my life. I see it over others lives. But we have to reorient ourself to the pain because she would have every reason to substantiate being short with you or the kids, but instead decided to show up to it with with joy or with kindness or whatever.

00:46:45:25 - 00:47:13:12
Unknown
It's us reorienting to the pain. Like if I jumped off of a building and died, no one here would say gravity killed Jeremy. No, Jeremy failed to properly relate himself to the law of gravity. Right? It's the way in which I orient. It's a way in which I relate to the circumstances that are going down. And pain is absolutely going to be a part of your life.

00:47:13:14 - 00:47:35:03
Unknown
So then we must be the ones to we must be capable of responsibly navigating the pain in our life. And James chapter one is this perfect tool. You want to be whole, in complete, lacking nothing. We can backwards engineer this thing. We want to be whole and complete, lacking nothing. Yeah, cool. That takes perseverance. Well, how do we get perseverance through trials?

00:47:35:05 - 00:47:55:01
Unknown
Well, how do we how do we deal with trials with joy? We have an exercise here at the time. We're filming this right now. We just finished an event. And during the event there's one of, there's a, there's a, a piece of the event that we use and it kind of squeezes guys. And it's like, well guys, we start getting really ticked off and really frustrated and and it's interesting.

00:47:55:01 - 00:48:20:14
Unknown
They started asking, the coaches for advice. Well, how do we how do we get through this? And not in the coy way necessary? Maybe a little coy. We like the advice that we gave them was principle based, and they were looking for action based advice, but we gave them principle based advice. We said, no one has ever completed this task, ticked off.

00:48:20:17 - 00:48:40:20
Unknown
No one's like the task that's in front of you. No one's ever done it. Angry, arguing, bickering at each other. No team has ever finished it. Angry. Arguing and bickering. And that's totally where they were at this moment was like irritated. They were hacked off at each other and then that guy failed. So they all had to reset and they were just like, everyone's angry at each other and it's like it's popping off.

00:48:40:20 - 00:49:03:16
Unknown
They're so frustrated. They're they're they've now at the end of their wits and now they're asking us for help. And they get this principle based advice and not specific advice about how to execute. And our guidance was, you know, team has ever finished it angry. And then 2 or 3 more iterations and they got it. They click. It just clicked.

00:49:03:18 - 00:49:29:17
Unknown
So I want to read a couple of stats here. Because as you're watching this, you may be thinking I'm rightfully angry. And when you tell your story, everyone agrees with you because you were the victim and we did it. And there's a difference between what is true and truth. The Word of God is truth. It never changes what is true for you.

00:49:29:19 - 00:49:51:10
Unknown
Maybe from the perspective of your experience. So what is truth? I want to I want to read this. So we read through James chapter one, verses two, three and four. But here's what verse five says to you to your point. Coach Jeremy. You get to your wit's end in the situation. You've done everything you know to do, and now you're out of ideas and now you want to pray, right?

00:49:51:10 - 00:50:06:03
Unknown
I've been there. I've done everything I know to do, and it hasn't worked. Okay now, God. But what if we started with that? Right? Coach John was mentioning before you break out the compass. Yeah, yeah. Well, now that I don't know where I am on the West, read my compass that. Oh, here's what it says in James chapter one, verse five.

00:50:06:03 - 00:50:14:07
Unknown
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously. He's not stingy with it to all.