The Moment I Died… and Finally Started Living

A rocket-propelled grenade exploded just 10 feet away from me in Afghanistan. My heart stopped — doctors shocked me back to life. That moment changed everything. This near death experience became the turning point that revealed my purpose and deepened my faith. In this powerful episode of the Rise Up Kings Coach’s Corner, we talk about how God can turn pain into purpose, tragedy into transformation, and how every battle is preparing you for your breakthrough.

Featuring Coach C.J., a combat veteran whose story will challenge your perspective on suffering and faith, and Coach Mondoe Davis and Coach B.J., who share how Romans 8:28 plays out in real life: “All things work together for good.”

For more information on Rise Up Kings, go to https://riseupkings.com/youtube

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Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:15:10
Unknown
When I got shot in Afghanistan. RPG hit a wall about ten 12ft from. Some pieces of the wall to my arm. Pull out both bones. Blow the bad piece through my bicep. Ruptured brachial artery. Cut a couple nerves. Doctors would have to resuscitate me from blood loss. And so my heart did stop. They did have to shock me back to life.

00:00:15:10 - 00:00:31:17
Unknown
That our living mark, quote unquote, last hour on earth thought about faces, thought about names, thought about people. Things I wish I would have said my life was on this trajectory, and I had this plan. And then it got flipped upside down and very early on said, all right, God, now what? I ain't dead yet. So. All right.

00:00:31:17 - 00:00:50:11
Unknown
God, now, what do you have? Jesus, you have it. If you don't have Jesus, you don't have anything. Fear and faith are the exact same thing. You're predicting a future that hasn't happened before. June 15th, 2010 I got blown up. Best day of my life. None of this is happening to me. It's all happening for me. So what is God up to that I'm not aware of right now?

00:00:50:13 - 00:01:13:29
Unknown
Welcome to the Coach's Corner. I'm your co-host, Mondo Davis. I'm so excited about our episode for today, because we're going to talk about how things in life that seem to be the things that can break you, can actually be the key to your breakthrough. Romans chapter eight, verse 28 says, all things work together for the good of those who love Christ and are called according to his purpose.

00:01:14:01 - 00:01:36:08
Unknown
And I got some amazing guest on today. They're going to talk about how some hard things came together for their good. So we got coach C.J. in the house. Hey, Army veteran medic, incredible human being coach here at Rise Up Kings. We have coach BJ, entrepreneur, and one of our coaches here. We also call him the sniper. I think I see straight through the heart of a man call our Greatness Center.

00:01:36:10 - 00:02:07:03
Unknown
So coaches tell us how does this scripture apply in your life? Yeah, when I think about life happening, you know, for you and I to you, I think, you know, it's really easy to look back and connect the dots, but like looking ahead, you know, looking forward in real time. That's the journey I'm in today of, you know, really going, hey, I can connect the dots a lot from the past because now as I look like in real time and trying to bridge that gap in that distance.

00:02:07:03 - 00:02:27:14
Unknown
And so from way back then to today, right now, learning in real time as life is happening, that none of this is happening to me. It's all happening for me. So what is God up to that I'm not aware of right now and just honing in on that from an awareness thing. So I think when I think of Romans 828 specifically, I think of just awareness.

00:02:27:14 - 00:02:53:09
Unknown
Am I aware of what God is doing right now in my presence and none of this is just happening to me. Yeah. I, agree with what coach C.J. saying, you know, like what's as I look back on my life even, you know, ten years ago and where I'm at now is just like, dude, God was orchestrating something so big for me through every trial and tribulations that I went through.

00:02:53:12 - 00:03:16:18
Unknown
Like, I could have blamed it on him. I did up until maybe five years ago when I started like deep diving into myself and freaking out like all this stuff happened for you and as I reflect back, it's like, yeah, like I see why this happened and this happened and this happened, of course, like duty is all free will on my end when I, you know, messing up and doing the things that I did.

00:03:16:20 - 00:03:35:06
Unknown
But God was still there the whole time, and he got me and he's gotten me and will continue to get me out of things because it's not happening for me. It's teaching me a lesson and teaching me, you know, hey, look like, here's your blind spot. I'm going to expose it to you. So that way you can, prevent this in the future.

00:03:35:08 - 00:03:53:26
Unknown
Wow. So hindsight is 20, 20, 100%. It's easy to look back and realize, oh, bing, bing bing. But for those who are watching, we got some people watching right now. They're thinking like, dude, I'm in the middle of it. It's easy to quote a scripture in Romans 828, everything's working out for the good. But I don't feel good right now.

00:03:53:29 - 00:04:24:24
Unknown
Yeah, I'm going through with my wife. I'm going through with one of my kids being a prodigal, I got this addiction or this sin in my life that I just can't shake, you know what I mean? Like, there's this situation and I'm walking through it just reminds me of when I was, playing football and I had this dream to go play in the NFL and after ten years of blood, sweat and tears, sacrifice to get to this goal, and finally coming to the point of the realization of the dream and getting an interception in my first game, and then coming back against the Vikings and then running down the field and termites yell on

00:04:24:24 - 00:04:42:13
Unknown
a first play of the game, and now I'm out for 18 months. Is like, how in the world is this working for my good? Like I literally just spent my entire teen years, childhood and early adulthood working towards this. And it just literally just vanished like this. Now I'm flirting with depression. I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna do in my life.

00:04:42:16 - 00:05:03:18
Unknown
And I'm like, how is this coming together? But little did I know, the pain that I was going through when I got the right perspective actually became a platform. And now I get to connect with people through what I do here around the Kings. And as a speaker to help them break through and experience the pain. Becoming a platform.

00:05:03:20 - 00:05:21:07
Unknown
So has there been any moments in that same scenario for you where you have found yourself going through pain, but yet you look back and it became your platform? Yeah, I think really, before I answer that, that part, just think about Romans 828. And just like the the for good concept is, it doesn't mean that all of it is good.

00:05:21:09 - 00:05:40:16
Unknown
And for me is the, the matter of just like not thinking neutrally, like it just is like what's happening is happening. It's not always positive, you know, and like, yeah, like that sucked. That was hard. That hurt. That was painful. And, you know, we sometimes come in all cheerful like, hey, let's, you know, put a bow on it, pray on it.

00:05:40:17 - 00:05:57:23
Unknown
It's like I just, you know, I can't put a car in reverse straight into drive. You know? I gotta go to neutral. And I got, I just got to just be and sit and then go, okay. It is what it is. Now what am I going to do? Because if, you know, I mean, teaching teenagers how to drive.

00:05:57:23 - 00:06:19:25
Unknown
You talking about. Yeah. Going from, you know, I first reverse stuff arrive or they drop it in park going three miles an hour. So you know what that does to a transmission. But that's what it does to our souls. That's what does our minds when, hey, this hard thing is going on in my life. And then some positive message, positive thinking person comes in like, you know, Pollyanna, you're like, that still sucks.

00:06:19:25 - 00:06:39:27
Unknown
And it's hard. Yeah, but it don't have to be bad. You know, hard and bad aren't the same thing. And so for me, yeah, I experienced that probably are the most like tangible, real aspect when when I got shot in Afghanistan. So 21 years old. I love the army, loved everything about it, was good at it, you know, raised in the South, you know, you.

00:06:40:02 - 00:06:56:01
Unknown
Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Right place, right uniform, right time. You know, that's that's it. You know, not complaining. Nobody cares anyway. Like, just do your thing. And so I, I loved what I was doing and, you know, said, hey, this is what I wanted. So I don't live my life, I'm good at it. I love it serving parts.

00:06:56:01 - 00:07:16:07
Unknown
I'm being myself. This is it. And then bam, injured. And so, you know, rocket hit someone else. What happened? Yeah. Go ahead, tell us what happened in that moment. Yeah. So, our outpost, lived at a combat outpost, southern Afghanistan. 40 dudes, no running water, no electricity, just living, like, literally an Afghan compound that we had fortified.

00:07:16:09 - 00:07:43:09
Unknown
And, our mission was basically just to protect, the road between a big Canadian base and then a big American base. So a big forward operating base, a farm. And so, every day, part of that was we had some patrols out and so ended up in a different footprint. And just we're pushing out, pushing out people that need to be there, making sure, you know, travel and that it was safe for for all the folks that would come behind us, engineers, folks working, on the area.

00:07:43:12 - 00:08:13:27
Unknown
And so what that meant for us in 2010, in southern Afghanistan, was every day, either the outpost would get attacked or one of the patrol was going out, would get ambushed. And so what a matter of if it was just win and it was just it was fighting season. It just is what it was. And so midday one shortly before lunch, we were all kind of done the morning stuff and we're just, you know, hanging around the, the combat outs, an outpost bored out of our minds, which is most of war, 98% complete boredom and 2% utter chaos.

00:08:13:29 - 00:08:31:00
Unknown
And so, outpost got attacked. Starting to do it and going to grab my bag. Those actually got hurt on the roof. Minor injury, you know, nothing major, but I was going to grab my bag and, RPG, hit a wall. So a rocket propelled grenade hit a wall about ten, 12ft from me. Some pieces of the wall through my arm.

00:08:31:00 - 00:08:51:05
Unknown
Pull out both bones. Blow. The elbow. Actually, the bad piece went through my bicep, ruptured the brachial artery, cut a couple nerves, and so, it was just loud, deafening. And so for me, I didn't really know what was going on, just the chaos of combat and then realized, you know, blood all over me, and there's nobody standing near me.

00:08:51:08 - 00:09:11:01
Unknown
And so, one of my squad leader, Joe Doc's hit, and so put out a tourniquet, started putting it on, and then got to somebody, and they kind of help that process. And so, quick medevac vehicle back to that big American base, big Bob. And then, Black Ops picked me and the other guy that were hurt up and within an hour I was in surgery.

00:09:11:03 - 00:09:35:24
Unknown
And the greatest gift. So that kind of, you know, I wouldn't have told you. Hey, I'm thinking neutrally about this moment, but the greatest gift of that experience was I didn't get knocked out when I got blown up. I didn't get knocked down. Super aware, super alert. Knew what was going on. Sure, there was a level of shock in there, but I cognizant enough muscle memory training kicked in, to take care of myself.

00:09:35:24 - 00:09:54:02
Unknown
But then also, like, I knew the process of medevac, being a medic, working with injured guys before I knew the steps and what was going on, and, and so but I was super aware, super alert. And later during that first surgery, doctors would have to resuscitate me from blood loss. And so my heart did stop. They did have to shock me back to life.

00:09:54:02 - 00:10:14:02
Unknown
All that, that, you know, I went out, woke up nine hours later post-surgery, you know, and started a whole nother journey. But before that journey really began that our in the medic process, we call that the golden hour. If you can get somebody into surgery within an hour, their likelihood of survival increases by whatever the the stat is.

00:10:14:04 - 00:10:35:22
Unknown
But for me, that hour was way more about the moment living my quote unquote last hour on earth and going, all right, guy, this might be it. And I'm gonna go with that. Like, you know, thought about faces, thought about names, thought about people, things I wish I would have said, things I wish I wouldn't have said to some people, how are they going to hear this?

00:10:35:24 - 00:10:55:15
Unknown
My mom was going to be pissed. All the promises I made. Nothing's going to happen to you, baby. All that stuff. But really, just going in that that hour prepared me for the next 18 months. Six months in a hospital bed, inpatient, 12 months outpatient, 40 plus surgeries, putting me back together all those things where my life was on this trajectory.

00:10:55:15 - 00:11:14:04
Unknown
And I had this plan, and then it got flipped upside down. And very early on, I said, all right, God, now what? Why not? Why me? Why this have to happen? But, God, you got me into this. I was doing what I love, doing what I felt called to do. I loved it, and I'm on the Moses plan to.

00:11:14:09 - 00:11:37:21
Unknown
When he's done with me, he'll kill me. I ain't dead yet, but he ain't done with me, so. All right. God, now what? But I think really. And truly, that our medevac process for me, from injury to pre surgery was really a time where I just, I had a quote unquote come to Jesus moment and then from there continue just a walk that out of like, all right, it's not good, it's not bad.

00:11:37:24 - 00:12:00:09
Unknown
It just is. And so what is God doing? And what am I going to do in response to that? Yeah, I think that's so good. And I think it speaks to the maturity that you have. But my concern is that some who may be watching this don't have the ability to process like you did. So what do you say, coach, to the one who's watching this?

00:12:00:09 - 00:12:18:17
Unknown
But they can't come to terms with the fact that it's a now what? And they're stuck in the why me? Yeah. What do you say to them. Yeah. Well, first life's never been about you. And I think that's the, the biggest piece. We don't realize that, you know, we we think, this life is about us, our moms.

00:12:18:17 - 00:12:36:10
Unknown
You know, dads loved us and cared about us and made us the center of, you know, their existence. Or we grew up and we didn't have that. And life's just been a flight from the jump. But we're thinking inward. And usually inward thinking is all about us in some way, shape or form. And so, But I've never been about you.

00:12:36:12 - 00:12:51:28
Unknown
I can't tell my heart to be. I can't tell my lungs don't work like you know, none of that's ever been about me. I just came face to face with it for the first time. And so really, when you're thinking about, hey, why me? What is this up? What is this for? What do I do all that for me?

00:12:51:28 - 00:13:06:14
Unknown
The answer is always take my perspective off of me. And that's going to be scary as all get out the first time. You know, you step out of that, that circle of comfort into that fear of the unknown. Like, what is he doing? I don't know, does it mean I'm not gonna have an alarm when I wake up?

00:13:06:15 - 00:13:24:00
Unknown
All right? Or am I going to wake up? Okay. Is she going to say yes? I don't know, is the boss gonna let me go? Who knows? Like, but just really, that, like, it's not about you. And when you live with that posture and mindset, then I believe you truly get to experience the gift of life.

00:13:24:02 - 00:13:45:06
Unknown
That's so good. And those who have never truly lived are the ones who are afraid to die, no doubt. But those who are willing to die. Yeah. What were you saying? Yes. To the United States Army. You were willing at that moment. Those are the ones who truly live. Wow. So good. Because, B.J., what about you? I was thinking about about that.

00:13:45:06 - 00:14:02:24
Unknown
And you said something that just like, hit me right in the right in the heart. And it was like the prodigal son. And it reminded me of my my middle son. Right. And so I didn't have any I didn't have contact with him for about but a year and a half. So we'll move back from, Florida, back to Texas.

00:14:02:24 - 00:14:21:04
Unknown
And he went back home and like, he completely shut us off. I had no clue where he was at, what was going on, if he was alive, if he well, was like, he said, I'm done with you guys. I'm like, well, this is some, you know, went victim mode and just I mean, I just like spiraled out of control, like, so why is this happening to me?

00:14:21:04 - 00:14:44:20
Unknown
Like, I'm his dad. He's such a respect. Me he should go. And then I quickly realized, now what? What lesson is being taught here? What do I need to learn from this right now? And I had to go way back to when he was younger, when I was trying to keep him under my thumb. Right. Not let things happen to him.

00:14:44:22 - 00:15:06:00
Unknown
What if things happen for him and I let him experience life? But I wanted to keep reins on him because I didn't want him to go to this through the same crap that I went through. But that's how we grow. Well, that's how we learn, and that's how we become, oh, when we how we overcome the obstacles in life is when we allow the things to happen for us.

00:15:06:02 - 00:15:26:03
Unknown
I didn't want things happen to, to him. And so, of course, now that he, he was 18 and he was in Florida by himself and I was going Victor mode. And it was just like I talked to a, a therapist and he says, what would the protocol, what would the the father of the prodigal son, what did he do?

00:15:26:05 - 00:15:42:29
Unknown
And of course, I'm all hyped up like, no. So then of course he of course, as the Bible said, like he was running, he met him at the road game was cloak and and the kill. The fattened calf said, yeah, but this is Aaron. And he's like, yeah, and you're that dad and he's going to come home eventually.

00:15:43:01 - 00:16:11:24
Unknown
He goes, so what would it look like if you could roll your son into your life? He's not there. But what would it look like to roll them just in the day to day life and just say hey he's doing what he's doing. Eventually he'll come back home. Eventually he's going to show up. And so that clicked with me like, yeah, because if I if I were to think about the things that he was doing or not doing, I could build resentment and bitterness goes to unforgiveness.

00:16:11:27 - 00:16:32:08
Unknown
And when we did meet, I would have all this unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment toward him. So I literally did what that counselor or that therapist had rolled him into my life, prayed for him. Whatever he's doing, this is whatever he's doing is going to happen for him, and he's going to learn from the mistakes. I can't baby him the rest of his life.

00:16:32:11 - 00:16:52:15
Unknown
And so about 3 or 4 weeks ago, he shows up in the backyard. I didn't have a ring. I didn't have a cloak, but I sure is in hell. Met him in the middle of the yard. Come on. Made my way to him and he threw his hands over my neck and at some training. And it was just like a moment.

00:16:52:17 - 00:17:12:28
Unknown
Yeah. I rolled my son into my life. No bitterness, no forgiveness, no resentment. Just rolled him into life. And God was like, this is what he needed. He didn't need a dictator. He just needed a dad. So. Good man. Yeah. I just really hit me, man. I'm thinking about your story, coach. And and what you just shared.

00:17:12:28 - 00:17:44:23
Unknown
Coach. PJ and I, literally right before we started this podcast, just came out of a beautiful culmination of seeing the repair relationship with my mom, my oldest daughter. So you don't know, we have 11 children. My wife and I've been together 23 years, married for 19. And, it's never a dull moment in our hearts. I just say that my oldest, you know, she's, she's 17 years old, and we stepped into a new season with her where, as parents, we needed to grow.

00:17:44:25 - 00:18:08:03
Unknown
And I didn't realize this need for my growth and development as we were loving and managing and just having this amazing opportunity to love all these kids. So it came to a point where my oldest daughter was needing more space to spread her wings. And when you're dealing with little ones, it's these three phases of training. Don't touch the stove, don't cross the street unless you look what is just boom, boom, boom.

00:18:08:09 - 00:18:25:06
Unknown
But then we go out of the training phase into this teaching phase, they start asking why? And it's like, well, why can't I touch the stove, daddy? Why? Okay, you're going to burn your fingers, but they might need that experience. So now we're going to the teaching where we're training them on. Hey, this is what you do and don't do, but this is why you do it.

00:18:25:06 - 00:18:38:11
Unknown
This is why you don't do it. And then from there, we go into the trusting phase. And this is the phase we hit with my daughter to the point where she's like, I just got to get out of here and do it. I remember taking her to a friend's house and asking her like, hey, where do we drop the ball?

00:18:38:11 - 00:18:51:25
Unknown
Like, where did we go wrong as parents? So she's like, I didn't do anything wrong, I just need some. I just need some space. I just got to spread my wings. I'm coming. A young lady, a woman, and we just couldn't wrap our minds around that man. And I remember getting in the car and just, like, just crying.

00:18:51:25 - 00:19:13:00
Unknown
Like I'd never cry before. And my wife was like, wow, I've never seen you cry like that. And I thought it was the last time I'll go see my daughter. Well, I learn from a really good friend, and he told me that the process you're walking through is on the individuation. And it's when a child is becoming an adult and they're trying to find their own identity, even though they carry the values of the family.

00:19:13:03 - 00:19:38:15
Unknown
And that word was the key to stepping into a whole nother understanding of what is Romans 828 really means for me, because now, as we gave her the space and trusted her, it opened up the relationship to be more close. She wound up graduating just last week. Top 10%. Her class. She has been dating a young man for the last four years.

00:19:38:15 - 00:20:09:19
Unknown
He asked for her hand in marriage. I had the honor of walking her down the aisle officiating her wedding, and we just literally sent her off to the Air Force and she just sent this amazing text and was like, thank you so much for money, daddy, for always supporting me. I love y'all so much. And man, like in the moment, if I didn't realize that this is happening for me and God is trying to experience something inside of me regarding my love for my daughter, my ability to trust, I could have lost that relationship.

00:20:09:21 - 00:20:32:16
Unknown
It could have been a permanent prodigal. But it worked out for me because God was trying to grow me as a father and thank God he gave me the right perspective because now we have this incredible relationship with our daughter. So. So what would you all say to the one who's listening to this and whether it's a personal injury like I got I got a finger.

00:20:32:16 - 00:20:52:08
Unknown
Just don't compare because you're, you're you're a stellar athlete, right? Like I played basketball with you. We played pickleball like. And you are a competitor and you're good like legitimately good. And you use the arm like I singlehandedly beat up some basketball because I. I only have one option. The single handedly beat you. In basketball. It was never a choice.

00:20:52:09 - 00:21:09:05
Unknown
It was like you were a monster out there. So it's like to have that perspective have such a positive outlook when there's been this injury to your physical body. And when you look in the mirror, you don't see things the way they were, you know, what would you say to to the person who may be in a situation right now watching this, but they need it.

00:21:09:05 - 00:21:27:11
Unknown
They need a word of encouragement. And then what would you say to the father out there who maybe has a prodigal and they're in the middle of it right now? They don't know what to do. It's good. Yeah, I think yeah, I'd say the same to you. And, you know, coach, you the same like talking about dad. And then even an individual that.

00:21:27:13 - 00:21:53:23
Unknown
Yeah. For me, I think the biggest shift in when I think about Romans 828 is that concept for me is like, God doesn't have any grandkids. He's just kids. So we're we're all, it's kids. And now we're in a role temporarily to to guide and lead and protect, you know, all those elements to model, to disciple those elements like Romans 828 is about our relationship with God the Father for me is the individual.

00:21:53:25 - 00:22:15:24
Unknown
And so whether it's an injury, a job loss, a relationship loss, whatever that is, it's back to that. How am I viewing this moment in light of my relationship to the father? Is he a loving God? Yes. Does he love me? Yes. And my child of God, yes. But who I am has nothing to do with what I can or cannot do anymore.

00:22:15:27 - 00:22:35:26
Unknown
You know, I swear, doctors gave me actually, the military acute concussion exam at Walter Reed for about three weeks. I was like, I know what day it is, I know what I eat for breakfast. I know who's in the white House. Like, why are you asking me this? Like, I used to give this test gas. And one of the nurses finally said, doctors think you have a brain injury because you're entirely too happy with what's just happened to you.

00:22:35:29 - 00:22:58:15
Unknown
Wow. I was like, happiness didn't come from your right arm. Like, tell him to cut this thing off. I'm Bill same day tomorrow. But is who I am. Is not contingent upon what I can or cannot do. Nor is it contingent upon the circumstances I'm in. And so it's Romans 828. I am a child of God. And viewing Romans 828 for me is truly on in light of my relationship with my father.

00:22:58:17 - 00:23:15:02
Unknown
What is this for? What am I learn? What is he doing in me? What does he want to do through me? Because at the end of the day, it's not about me to begin with. It's about him. You know, I live with Jesus at the center of my life. When I'm focused in in the spirit. C.J gets on the throne all the time.

00:23:15:04 - 00:23:32:24
Unknown
And I got to go. No no no no, no. You know, like and in that, in the key. I know how that story ends, you know, but that's that that spirit and flesh waging war, you know, the sanctification journey that I'm going to be on for the rest of my life. But at the end of the day, when he is at the center of my life, I know I have a good father.

00:23:32:26 - 00:23:52:09
Unknown
That's enough. That's it, I don't and, you know, and so that's really the part for me. Yeah. What would I say to someone in that space? It's, first and foremost, relationship with father is everything you have. Jesus. You have everything. Point one if you don't have Jesus, you don't have anything. I don't care what what you get and ain't going with you.

00:23:52:16 - 00:24:14:26
Unknown
Not a little matter. Go back to that last hour on Earth concept. I've talked to a lot of old folks nearing the end. They don't talk about that business failure from 50 years ago. They don't talk about that time they messed up. Now they talk about regrets. And their regrets are the people in their life that they didn't love, the moments that they missed?

00:24:14:29 - 00:24:41:00
Unknown
The life they could have lived, that is, they didn't live the dream that was never fulfilled. All that, you know, they talk about regret. And so again, there's others focused and that's sent out. It's not about, you know, just yourself. And so that's the piece of I have Jesus center of my life. I'm good. Now I can go live knowing whatever's going to happen is going to happen.

00:24:41:03 - 00:24:58:27
Unknown
And my job not to live so positive, Pollyanna, that I'm missing real ness and real life and real stories and real hurt and real pain because Jesus met people in pain all the time. But I'm also not living in this negative mindset because negativity works all the time. It just works negatively. And so I don't want that either.

00:24:58:29 - 00:25:24:28
Unknown
And so just about living in that moment, in that space, it just being so that I can do what I feel called to do in those moments, regardless of the circumstances. So good. Yeah. I'll agree with what Coach City just said with a part on regret. Like. Regret of not, you know, being able to go back and change what I did with my boy.

00:25:25:00 - 00:25:43:09
Unknown
Well, what can I change now? How can I show up now? Right? I don't have to agree with everything he's doing. And it's not my place to tell him everything he's doing wrong. And that's what I was messing up in the first place. Will tell him everything he did wrong. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that?

00:25:43:09 - 00:26:04:15
Unknown
Just on him? He doesn't. He didn't need that. Hey, son, I love you. How's life going? How you. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Oh, man. I'm terrible. Yeah. I'm sorry. So, like, let me pray for you. What do you need from me now? What's going on? I can't change the past as much as I love to.

00:26:04:15 - 00:26:27:21
Unknown
I can't change the past. But the past taught me how not to be in the present or the future. How can I show up in the now? How can I show up for the now? Not only for my son, but for myself and for others, for my wife and from other two boys. Not just not just my middle one, not just Aaron.

00:26:27:21 - 00:26:47:22
Unknown
How can I show up for everyone around me? That's what it's all about. Like, how can I show up now? The best version of myself? How can I show up? Because when I do show up, people want to be around me. When I show up in the best version, when I'm not my best version. You've seen me a couple times, right?

00:26:47:24 - 00:27:12:01
Unknown
It's not. Plus, it's it's like you're you're off. What's going on? Like, I feel there's some some tension. Nobody wants to be around somebody who has that tension. Yeah. And it's like men like you calling another man up. Hey, bro, what's going on? Yeah. And giving them that hard feedback. But just being present in your in the lives of the ones that you love and making right.

00:27:12:03 - 00:27:32:26
Unknown
Getting to make those amends, not waiting for them to come to you, leaning into them and doing that hard thing. Yeah I like to call that leaning into the awkward. Yeah. Or we we say hugging the cactus because that's hard hugging the cactus. Hugging the cactus. Yeah. So it, so it reminds me of is quote you, you can't change the past.

00:27:32:29 - 00:27:52:05
Unknown
You can't control the future but you can't enjoy the gift of the present. And if we lean in to see life as a gift and we enjoy every moment because time is built in memories when you think about it as I was just sending my daughter off from meth, they go down to Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio.

00:27:52:07 - 00:28:14:02
Unknown
I just had this flash of her life from holding her that as a blow baby, you know, feed her the bottle, push it on a swing at the park and just watching her grow up. And now she's a little grown woman. I was just there, standing there with her husband. I'm like, oh my gosh, my, my father in law, he's like, Mondo, congratulations, you're officially getting out.

00:28:14:04 - 00:28:50:18
Unknown
Oh. They love that. Make you well, yeah. But, man. So so, I'm I'm I'm thinking about the person listening to this right now who's like, okay, all this sounds good. I appreciate where you guys are coming from, but I don't know how to get unstuck in this mindset where I find myself in this loop and I keep getting the same results in my life, whether it's constantly getting the same results in your marriage, where there's distance, or you maybe have gone through a divorce, or you're not able to really connect with your kids, or you're not getting the results you want financially, or you can't really break free from this sin to

00:28:50:18 - 00:29:12:06
Unknown
showing up in your life or this negative mindset. But you keep going around and around and around and around. You love God. You believe the Scripture to be true, but yet you're stuck. You hit on something a moment ago talking about feedback to talk to the person right now that feels stuck and they want to believe this.

00:29:12:06 - 00:29:33:29
Unknown
They genuinely love Jesus. But it's like I just can't I can't get out of this depression. I can't get out of this anxiety. I can't get myself in the right state where I can change my situation. And I look up now. And five years ago, I was having the same conversation, but the but the lifestyle hasn't changed. Well,

00:29:34:01 - 00:29:43:12
Unknown
What does that person want? One thing. It's just like, hey, if you did this, what's that look like?

00:29:43:15 - 00:29:49:01
Unknown
One thing, the perspective.

00:29:49:04 - 00:30:10:27
Unknown
Perspective. Like, stop being. Want to get real? Stop focusing on me, me me me. You're just send us a laser vision. Like. Just like this. You just have like this, this monocular like this in life is just like this. And you can just. That's all you see is everything that's happening back to you. Drop the monocular and get into an eagles eye view of life.

00:30:11:00 - 00:30:19:16
Unknown
And look how life has been. And when you can do that and you can see what God has shown up.

00:30:19:18 - 00:30:44:21
Unknown
Then you can start making those adjustments in life. But it has to come from a perspective. You got to get in a different perspective. So a different view looks good. Yeah. I think one thing I say is destiny. Your future. Destiny, the destiny is created in the present moment. So you're not defined by your past. You're defined in real time with the choice you make next.

00:30:44:23 - 00:31:05:20
Unknown
And so do you really want that. Your actions don't show it. But if you want to do different things then you have to do things differently. And so that's the the action of just as much of what you need to do and what you need to stop doing. What's been holding you back. But it's I mean, you don't really have a choice.

00:31:05:20 - 00:31:27:29
Unknown
I think that's probably the biggest illusion is we think we have all these choices. And it's really not like if I'm committed to being a loving husband, my love, my wife, like Christ, loved the church. An engaged father, an intentional father. It's not about me. I don't have a choice to go home and watch Netflix for four hours a day.

00:31:28:01 - 00:31:46:04
Unknown
I don't have a choice to go to the deer camp every weekend, or to go play golf every Friday. I don't have that choice. It's the same way with MJ. Those. Yeah, they didn't have a choice. If you want to be great, here's what greatness requires. Averaging greatness are both choices. Oh yeah. So you just choose. And you talked about Michael Jordan right?

00:31:46:04 - 00:32:01:24
Unknown
Yes. Oh yeah. By the way Chicago Bulls. Yeah the goat I know I love LeBron but I'm just saying I hit it right on MJ. Go yeah yeah I'm I'm a 90s kid. So let's go on. Come on baby. But not really true that there is like this illusion of a choice. It's not like you don't really have all these choices.

00:32:01:24 - 00:32:18:29
Unknown
So the question is, are you going to do it or not? And you say, hey, I want that. Your actions don't prove that. So what I hear you saying, go to this. Stop lying to yourself. If you don't have the results that you're looking for, you're lying to yourself. I know, so we love you. And the question is, do you want to keep getting the results that you're getting?

00:32:18:29 - 00:32:32:26
Unknown
Because they call that insanity when you keep doing the same thing, expecting different results. If you don't want the results you're getting right now, then you have to change something so we can change everything. Could things be the way they are because of the way that you are? What's the one thing you can change that will change everything?

00:32:32:29 - 00:32:37:15
Unknown
If you will change and everything will change for you?

00:32:37:17 - 00:32:46:01
Unknown
Start today. No shame. Final thoughts.

00:32:46:04 - 00:33:12:29
Unknown
Yeah. Thank you. Yes. What you focus on, you know, perspective face. Because, you know, I tell you, June 15th, 2002, I got born a best day of my life. Oh, hold on. Pause. Oh I got it. I got to address this elephant in the room. So I think it's a compliment to your spiritual maturity. Well my concern is that there's, there's people who aren't there.

00:33:13:01 - 00:33:27:29
Unknown
And that gap is so wide for them it's like the Grand Canyon. They're like dude like I got so much respect for this, for this man who was one to lay on his life to, to protect the freedom that we so enjoy. And to say, I got blew up, I got blown up and it was the best day of my life.

00:33:27:29 - 00:33:45:27
Unknown
Is a is I can feel it. There's a stretch. Somebody sitting here thinking like, really the best day of your life. And they're walking through this thing and they're ready to die. Close that gap. Yep. How do you how do you cross the Grand Canyon? It's a step at the time, but it's like, what am I going to focus on?

00:33:45:29 - 00:33:58:20
Unknown
Am I going to focus on that big cliff way up there? Am I going to focus on the heat? Am I going to focus on I only got one bottle of water, or am I gonna focus on this next step into your nose out there? Your mouth won't step because. All right, here's where I can focus on that.

00:33:58:23 - 00:34:16:19
Unknown
Yeah, I've gotten to stand on platforms all over this country and share. I've been in rooms that I had no business being in simply because of my story. So I saw what God was doing. I met my wife at Walter Reed. She was one of my occupational therapists. So option A for me meeting Daniel was getting blown up.

00:34:16:19 - 00:34:36:25
Unknown
I'm scared to Death Note. Option B was. But, you know what? Could it have been like a red, Red Sox game or, you know, like, some fun, maybe. How was that? That was God's option, a plan. So I'm not gonna ask you questions. But again, what do I focus on? You know, I've got two daughters. I've had the chance to yet to connect with thousands of people.

00:34:36:27 - 00:34:57:22
Unknown
Was it painful? Sure. No one's ever died from pain. Pain didn't kill you. You might decide to quit. That's different. That's a choice. So it's back to what are you focused on? And yes, the the windshield. Way bigger than the rearview mirror for me. I see I see what's ahead. I'm good with it. And yeah, there's hard stuff in the back.

00:34:57:22 - 00:35:18:18
Unknown
That guy who's listening right now who feels like he's about to die. Yeah, I did, and yeah, and my buddy, two weeks after I got hurt doing my job as my replacement, stepped on a pressure plate ID and was an instant quadruple amputee, was killed. He was married and had a one year old son. Those scales will never add up.

00:35:18:18 - 00:35:37:23
Unknown
He died on a road I had walked on with men that I would have been on patrol with, but I that's not for me. And so when I'm focused on doing my part and just let God be God, let God do his part, when I do my part, there's enough in that space. It's gonna take me the rest of my life to try to figure out.

00:35:37:25 - 00:35:58:02
Unknown
And so that's the piece. Yeah, it's what am I focusing on? So. And there's so much positive you can find positive. It's easy to find the negative and it's loud and it's a multiplier. I think science will say today that negativity impacts you ten times. Like it's more likely to come true. And it's just like that here. And it's like when you say it out loud, it's even worse.

00:35:58:02 - 00:36:15:12
Unknown
So it's like, stop saying stupid crap out loud, man. I always screw this up. Yeah, I guess what you gonna do next? You gonna screw it up again? You just nailed that one in the coffin. Go for it. But, like, know who am I? Okay, walk that out. Believe that. Like, you get to choose. Fear and faith are the exact same thing.

00:36:15:15 - 00:36:37:00
Unknown
You're predicting a future that hasn't happened yet, and you just get to pick which one. And once you commit to that choice now I don't have another option. I'm committed to Danielle. I'm committed to Aubrey and Paisley. I'm committed to this life. Like one day I'm gonna live that last hour again. This time it won't be for real.

00:36:37:03 - 00:36:51:10
Unknown
And I promise you there won't be an ounce of regret in there. It'll be a lot of pain, a lot of failure, a lot of messed up, a lot of sanctification scars. There's not gonna be any regret. Powerful, powerful.

00:36:51:12 - 00:37:26:03
Unknown
Man had. You will. I don't have a comment. With that being said, I, I'm going back to what what happened in December 2020 when I got put into the seven days into a mental hospital for suicide watch because, you know, life came crashing down on, on top of, on top of me and my family. And that was, I always say this like, was one of the most, like, freeing times for me because, like, I actually got to feel for the first time in my life, like, truly feel what has been going on in my life.

00:37:26:05 - 00:37:52:27
Unknown
And I'm saying this because I had lied to others about how I'm doing. Good, brother. Life's going good, but I couldn't lie to myself because my emotions and my feelings were still there. You can't lie those away saying that you can say everything's good. Anybody, anyone you meet at church. Oh, brother, life is good. God is good. But you can't lie to yourself and you can't.

00:37:52:27 - 00:38:16:07
Unknown
You can never, ever lie to yourself. Because these emotions, those feelings and that the wounds and that all that is still there. So you can tell everybody else, like I was doing, oh, life is going great, life is good. But there was a battlefield happening on the inside. You have to come to the grips of realization that, hey, life isn't going good.

00:38:16:09 - 00:38:38:29
Unknown
And that's when my journey with Rise of Kings happened two months after that and I was able to start opening up and like, alright, this is why. And, and extracting the bad and just, just like puts like strings coming off you just like pulling them out like, all right, here's this. And I'm still doing that. Right. And I and I do it's hard because I do find myself.

00:38:39:01 - 00:39:05:11
Unknown
Oh it's good. But I got to pause and like am I really good. Yeah. No I'm not because this is, this came up and I suppressed it. All right. Now journal about it process. Call somebody about it. Hey this is what's happening because I don't want to go back to what was because I was lying. And not giving myself the space that I needed to, to feel, so beautiful.

00:39:05:13 - 00:39:31:29
Unknown
So I love, I love what you shared about perspective and being willing to open up and allow others in. And all of us have these caverns and caves and the depths of our hearts and souls, and it's the place where we store the trauma and the shame. And if we don't allow the light to shine, to cast out that darkness, then the very thing that we're trying to hide is the very thing that kills us from the inside out.

00:39:32:02 - 00:39:58:05
Unknown
So as coach BJ's coach CGF share with with incredible wisdom, I want to encourage you as you're listening to this, that there's something in the depths of your heart and soul that's keeping you up at night. It wakes you up in the morning is something that you haven't been able to get resolved. It is literally eating away at your emotional and mental capacity, your energy, your ability to show up for your family, your ability to show up for your wife, your ability to show up for your kids to be present, your ability to crush it in your job, your ability to make a difference in this world.

00:39:58:11 - 00:40:28:24
Unknown
You are dying from the inside out. It is a cancer. But today you can make a decision. Right now, in this moment, you can make a choice that can change your entire life, and that is to be vulnerable, because that vulnerability is the key to your victory. And then when you're able to do that and you're able to realize that you're not alone, and there's other people that have gone through what you've experienced, whether it's a prodigal child or, an injury or, some mental, some mental pain that you're walking through that you need help with.

00:40:29:02 - 00:40:45:15
Unknown
There's people here that are professionals that can help you with that. And all you got to do is raise your hand and say, hey, I need help. That's how you get your freedom. So I want to I want to leave you with this thought as you're watching this. So this, this, this bottle right here, it says. Says what?

00:40:45:15 - 00:41:06:08
Unknown
What does it say? You watch it. What does it say? What do you see? I say, pray first and leave a legacy. What do you see? Course you do. Leave a legacy. It's not what I see. Y'all know what I see? What do you see? See, Rise up, Kings and some black bottom. What do you see?

00:41:06:10 - 00:41:16:10
Unknown
What's on the inside of it? Water. Right. What is water do for you? Hydration. Quench your thirst. Yeah.

00:41:16:13 - 00:41:43:26
Unknown
What does Jesus do for you? Come on. If you want to get really technical. Yeah. He quenches your thirst when he thirsty. That's right. So come to Jesus if you're, if you're, he makes that barren wasteland right. He makes it to where you can live in it. And it's tolerable. Yeah. So if you're thirsty in the depths of your soul and you're crying out for affirmation and attention, maybe you need to go to the everlasting water.

00:41:43:28 - 00:42:05:00
Unknown
The water that brings life. What do you see, coach? Co c.j Raso Kings water ball rival. Okay what about A. So you try to call me a liar. You try to call me a liar I don't see that. But you try to call me a liar. That's right. You're a different perspective. You have a different perspective. So what is your situation.

00:42:05:03 - 00:42:26:00
Unknown
That job loss, that divorce, that health scare, the report from the doctor. You're seeing one side of the situation, but there's a whole nother side. And all you got to do is ask to see the other side. And you're going to get a whole different perspective on your scenario. And as you deep dive into a guess who's waiting to quench your thirst.

00:42:26:03 - 00:42:44:22
Unknown
That's right. Christ. So you might be calling other people a liar because you're calling a duck a duck. And if you got five people in your life to look at and say it's a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. I'm just saying. And maybe if you were willing to step on the other side of your situation and get a different perspective, you can change everything.

00:42:44:24 - 00:43:02:11
Unknown
And I want you to know that God sees the whole thing. So when you come to him, you can't lose. So I leave you with this. There's a story about a man that I want to share with you. And this was when I was playing college football at the University of Delaware. And my buddy Butch shared this story with us because it was a really hard day in practice.

00:43:02:12 - 00:43:24:14
Unknown
It was like 100 plus degrees and everybody was tired. There was a lot of injuries. We had a guy get really hurt. He can no longer play football. Almost got paralyzed like it was just a horrible week. And this scripture, Romans 828 is like, how can this apply in this situation? And my buddy pulled everybody together and he was like, hey, man, I want to tell y'all a story about a man who went to sleep.

00:43:24:14 - 00:43:39:12
Unknown
He had this dream and he had a desire to do something for Christ. And Christ gave him this vision and said, when you wake up in the morning, it's going to be this big rock right outside of your door. I want you to go outside. I want you to push that rock with everything you got. And he woke up and he looked outside and the rock was there.

00:43:39:12 - 00:43:54:03
Unknown
He got the pushing, he was excited. And then over the course of day by day, his faith was strong. He was excited about showing up and people started to come and watch. So as people are coming to watch, it gets to a point where after a week, there's this atheist who shows up and was like, man, what are you doing?

00:43:54:05 - 00:44:14:15
Unknown
This is foolishness. He's like, I'm doing this for God. I'm going all out. And he's like, you look like a fool. And people are making a mockery of him. He goes back in, he's upset, cries out to God, you're making a mockery of me, Lord. People are laughing at you. They're laughing at me. This is embarrassing. He's like, why are you telling me to go out and move this rock?

00:44:14:17 - 00:44:30:00
Unknown
And as he's praying, God says to him, did I tell you to move the rock? Or did I tell you to push the rock? See? Look at your shoulders. Look at your chest. Look at how strong you've got in this process. Look at your thighs. Look at your skin and how the sun is tanned. Your skin. Look at the mental toughness.

00:44:30:00 - 00:44:50:06
Unknown
Look at the faith that you've exercised. Look at the way that people have come to see you. Step out of your faith. Look at the strength that has been cultivated in you. I never told you to move the rock. I just told you to push it. My question is, what's that rock for you? And you're thinking you're supposed to move it, but God just wants you to push because there's something deeper inside of you that he's developing.

00:44:50:08 - 00:45:16:15
Unknown
So I leave you with this. If you find yourself stuck, just remember to push. Pray until something happens, and remember that every situation that you're walking through is happening for you, not to you. Because all things work together for the good of those who love Christ and according to his purpose. He is no respecter of person. We love you.

00:45:16:16 - 00:45:25:10
Unknown
We look forward to seeing you in our next episode or the Coach's Corner podcast piece.